Relief • (Sixx:A.M)

Belly Of The Beast

DJ's P.O.V:

It just hit me that we only have one more day left at home until we go back on the road, and oh my god, am I fuckin' excited!

Of course it was nice to have a break, but seriously, I love what I do so much that it's hard to be patient, you know?

I'm even more pumped for this leg of the tour because we're going to Europe! I love traveling... Always have. I'm always so fascinated with the different cultures and ways of life in other countries besides my own. I've always been an explorative kind of guy. I like adventure. I like spicing things up and seeing things from different perspectives.

I also love ethnic foods, like can I be real? It's always so cool to eat shit that I don't even know half the ingredients in. That sounds really odd, but I like surprises. That could always be the child in me, but Nikki has said the same thing so I can't be that weird.

We also release our second half of our double album in a little over a month, and I am vibrating with happiness. We worked so fuckin' hard on that... We never even released a double album before so the process of it all was such a huge deal. We had such a fun time putting it all together... Writing the songs, recording our parts.... Of course, James worked his magic on mixing both records, and I will forever be impressed with his ability to create such unique, mesmerizing, musical sounds. I still don't even know how he doesn't get confused when he works with the soundboard. There's too many goddamn keys on it. I don't trust myself to use it the right way!

Anyway, I'm getting a little off track here. My mind likes to wander a bit too much.

The reaction that we got on the first album of the two, 'Prayers for the Damned' was just amazing and mind-blowing! I can't fuckin' wait to see what our fans think of this one!

So, yeah, I'm excited for a lot of things about touring again.

But, most importantly, I can't wait to be around my two buds again. I should really stop being so sappy, but I think we all know that it's impossible at this point. They're family, even if they aren't blood. Family isn't always blood, and it doesn't have to be. I think as long as the people you're around make you feel good, are non-judge mental, accepting, and open minded... Honestly, that's what family is to me. Genuine, fun-loving, caring people. We're all here for one another, and I always know that if something happens, they have my back. It's a good feeling.

On another note, I really hope James is gonna continue trying to help himself. I hope he used the rest of his time at home to recuperate and chill out as much as he could. I called him the other day and his voice sounded a little raspy, so that got me a little worried, but hopefully it's nothing. He could have drank water and it went down the wrong way so he started coughing, or his throat might just hurt. I don't know, but he said he was feeling okay when I asked.

I really hope he's not lying. I don't know why he would be, though.

There's always that small part of me in the back of my head that constantly has a radar on. I feel like even when things seem to be going well, I'm still worried anyway. He ate the pizza with me and Nikki and seemed happy, and there was no reason for me to be concerned about anything... Meanwhile, I'm still concerned.

Is it because I just care about him in general? Is it because our friendship is just so strong that I'm compelled to be concerned and want to watch over him, even though I'm younger? Is it just because that's the kind of person I am? Maybe I'm a caretaker? Have I been like this forever and I never realized it until now?

My head is starting to go in circles, because here I am ready to question myself again. Why do I do this? I really shouldn't question myself whenever I worry about someone. There's absolutely nothing wrong with caring and wanting the best for someone. Nikki would tell me that. James would tell me that too, so why do I feel uncomfortable and weird about this?