Relief • (Sixx:A.M)

The Devil's Coming

DJ's P.O.V:

I'm so happy that James decided to hang out with me and Nikki after the interview. I really thought that it was gonna be like pulling teeth to get him to chill and relax, because we all know that James doesn't do either of those things. He actually agreed pretty easily and I just felt my whole heart fill up with joy.

I probably sound really pathetic, but I can be a pretty sappy guy at times. When I get close to people, and we form a bond as strong as the three of us have, our relationship means the world to me. I always say that I feel like I'm with family when I'm around those two, but it's true. Nikki and James are like two older brothers that I've never had, and for me that's so important. I didn't have the best childhood growing up, so when I find people I feel completely safe around, and who I'm comfortable being open and vulnerable with, my heart clings to them. I've never had two people like them who have allowed me to expose my deepest emotions and experiences to before. A lot of times I get scared that I'll lose relationships like this, but I know in my heart that the bond we all share is so genuine that it feels unbreakable.

I'm just that type of person who looks out for others and I just want to be there for them whenever I can. I just really wanted to see James even though we were seeing each other every single day for three months straight, it felt weird not seeing him. He's one of my best friends, and I want to make sure he's okay. So, I bit the bullet and asked him and he said yes, and man I'm so fuckin' happy he did!

We had a great time!

The interview itself was pretty typical. It just revolved around how our first half of touring has been, and also our album release in a month. Same shit, different day. Of course I enjoyed it though. I always do. When you're passionate about something, I don't think it matters how much repetition there is at times... There's always that spark of happiness and fulfillment in your heart that vibrates through your whole being.

Afterwards, we went back to my place and I ordered a pizza, obviously. I wanted it to feel like the good ol' days, when we would work on our early albums on the floor eating pizza and shooting out crazy ideas. I wanted James to remember what relaxing felt like. I just wanted to have brotherly bonding time, ya know?

Can I just tell ya, when I saw James take the first bite of that pizza, I don't think I've ever felt such an intense sense of relief wash over me. I need to be honest. I was nervous that he wasn't gonna eat it. I know we had the whole talk and all, but I still had the fear in the back of my head that he wasn't gonna do it, or he was gonna eat it in some weird way...

I had to force myself to not stare him down. I'm cringing thinking about how much I wanted to just watch him, and make sure he was gonna eat it, but I just need to say it. I care about him so goddamn much that I just wanted to see him take care of himself.

So, I am telling you, when I saw him bite the thing, my heart almost skipped a beat, because this wasn't him taking a weird ass bite. He didn't play around with the pizza, or tear it apart, or pull stuff off of it, or even cut it up. He didn't do any of that! He just bit it like a normal person!

I don't remember the last time I saw him eat normally like that, and that's why I had such an intense feeling of relief. I was also fuckin' excited, but I tried to not be obnoxious about it because that probably would have made James feel awkward and uncomfortable. I even noticed Nikki give a look of pride, so I'm pretty sure he was thinking something similar to me.

Just the fact that James touched the thing was enough to make me happy. Honestly if he didn't finish it I wouldn't have been upset, but he DID finish it! So, let's just say I was in a really good mood the rest of the night.

He ended up leaving soon after, but I expected him to. Of course I wanted him to stay longer because he's my fuckin' buddy and I love him to death, but I'm just grateful and happy that he decided to hang in the first place.