Fifteen and Expecting (A Niall Horan Fan Fiction) *on hold*

Chapter 43

Johnny was the only thing my mind could think of. Even with the whirlwind of pain trapped inside my broken heart, I still find a small gleam of hope when he said just any simple word. I was in the bitter state of depression & lonliness when we had first met... though I have not fulfilly been happy since, he still helped calm the storm inside my fucked up head.

My head was spinning, my thoughts a constant tragedy of despiration & pain. I was angry with what I had become. Why was I so sad? And why did I have to be stupid enough to become a mom at fifteen?

My main thoughts consisted of the word: why.

"come here," he patted the open spot next to him on the couch that sat feet in front of the fireplace.

I waddled over to him, groaning in exhaustion as I took the empty spot beside him. my head lay against his shoulder, a warm cup of cocoa in my hands. looking up at him through my lashes, I saw what an attractive kid he was. ok yeah, I knew well before now that he's a hunk but I hadn't taken a moment to take in all of him until now. not only was he this nice piece of eye candy, he was also the sweetest thing to walk into my life & not walk away ... at least, not yet.

Johnny acknowledges the silent gesture of my lying head, he replies back with a stern arm holding my impregnated body against his warm, cozy, god-like figure.

"I want to be happy," my mouth frowns, the very top of my lower pinkish, chapped lips suddenly begins to tremble. I'm not worried, it's no near close to caution the small amount of emotion showing. Although, my hormones may get the better of me...

"You're not happy here?" he raises a brow; tragedy strikes me.

"No, I am happy here. I'm very happy with you," I take a moment to create a statement that won't mark me down as rude or inconsiderate, "it's just ... I'm not happy with my whole being as a person rather than the factors that makeup the world that surrounds me."

"Maddie," the usual concerned Johnny look takes away his once precious smile to turn it into a compound made up by the two world-famous elements known as fear & despair.

He breathes in, he doesn't exaggerate the simple need for air, instead, he chooses to calm the rapid beating of his now anguished heart by exhaling as well as inhaling a long, small breathe of agony & pain. He's hurt. As much as he wont admit it to me, he is hurt & I can't help but to take the blame because I couldn't let my feelings go on the first night of vacation with my boyfriend.

"...why aren't you happy?" he finally exhales.

Welcome to therapy, here was the flashback of my past innocent years ... when I did flaunt myself to band members. One specific band member to be exact.

"Johnny," my hand rests on top of his; I try my best to ease him, "why is the sky blue?"

"It's nature," he speaks, obviously puzzled by my metaphor from the confusion in his voice.

I sigh, smiling the best closed-mouth smile I could form without tearing to pieces inside and out, "Exactly. And I, as well, am a part of nature."

(So it's been a good few months .... almost a year since my last update 😁 Honestly, I have no clue what stopped my from updating this story. It was most likely from the lethargy that decided to sweep over my body 🙃 I hope you guys are doing well! I missed y'all ❤️ )