It Was Like A Dream

Chapter 44

-Yeji

How did everything turn out like this? Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong?

Can someone please tell me?

I had thought that we were finally okay. That I had bandaged whatever was broken, but it still shattered, right in front of me.

I had good intentions, yet why did karma come and bite me from behind?

After she slammed the door to her house, I had lost all hope. I didn't know what else I could do in order to make her come back to me.

What choice could I take at the moment? What choice do I still have left, that could stop all this pain?

Can pain even stop anymore? Why does it keep coming back?

All I asked, was that I could be happy with Lia. That I could be the one who could make her at her happiest. But was she ever at her happiest, when she was with me?

She wasn't. Because I made her cry.

I got into my car, started the engine, and sped off to god knows where. I turned left, I turned right, sped up, as my eyes got blurry. I willingly let my tears fall, and stain my jeans, as I turned left again.

For the past few days, I had thought of nothing, but Lia. How I could make her smile again, how I could willingly touch her, hug her, caress her hair, sniff her sweet scent, take her out on dates, just simply be with her. Regardless of what relationship described us.

I punched the steering wheel multiple times, until I felt my fingers and wrist crack a few times. My knuckles bled, as I paid attention to the road again.

If I had known that this would have been the outcome, I never would have tried so hard to be with her.

The only thing I did was prolonged endless pain for the both of us. If I had known that I would hurt her this much, I would have chosen to stay quiet and accept that I really wasn't the one who was for her.

I didn't have anyone to blame but myself.

I can't take this anymore.

I felt my the area on my left chest start to burn, and needles poking it repeatedly, the more I thought about Lia.

"Understand you? What the hell do you even understand about me!?"

I hated her at that moment.

Her words echoed inside my brain, like her voice was close, but herself was so far away from me.

"I stepped out of my comfort zone when it meant that you believed in me."

If only you knew that I believed in you more than I have ever believed in anyone else.

The pain from her hard slap lingered on my cheek. It felt hot, and I could tell that it left a mark.

"I never thought that you if all people would turn on me and put a knife on my damned back!"

I didn't mean to hurt you at all. I never intended to betray you. I never intended to be someone who makes you cry.

You have such beautiful eyes. Yet it's always filled with tears.

The cake sat still on the passenger side of my car. It was probably a mess right now. Instead of celebrating her for trying, all I celebrated was nothing but heartache.

I wished that I could turn back time and undo what I did. I just want everything to be okay. I want everything to go back to normal, yet, why does pain have to be normal too?