Consequences

Chapter 45: Aftershock

"Alice?!" He dropped to his knees and grabbed me by the arms, attempting and failing to steady my trembling form. "Alice, what happened?"

My eyes shot to the body on the bed and instantly jumped back into Lucas' worried gaze. "He," I hiccupped, "he tried to... to kill me, I.. I couldn't... I had... I had to k- kill him."

Lucas turned away and cursed when his eyes landed on Torin, seemingly noticing the corpse for the first time. "You did that?" I nodded violently, still unable to gain full control over my panicked self. The gold in his eyes melted and he pulled me in for a tight, protective hug.

I then said through choked sobs, "Can.. Can we go... Now?" He pulled away and gave me the softest look I never knew he was capable of. I took his hand to help stand on my stiffened legs and nearly fell back down if it weren't for his arms that snaked around my knees and back to carry mebridal style into the living room. The relief I felt from having him here was unspeakable. It nearly made me start crying all over again.

"Who was he? Do you know?" He asked as he gently sat me down on the couch.

"He... He was the guy you sent to get me. T-Torin..." I hiccupped

"Alice, I didn't send anyone to get you."

My puffy eyes widened as Lucas looked at me with a Serious expression.
"But.. But he. He knew me.. he knew my name.. He talked about you- your keychain, I... He said it was a code...! He knew your fake name! If you didn't send him, how did he know??" My voice rose as I spoke, the panic within me still very much present.

"Shh. It's okay. Just breath. I'm here now." He sat beside me on the couch and pulled me into him. The warmth and scent I had missed so much finally entered my sense once again and I sighed as I instantly started to relax.

"How did he know." I whispered as I stared into dead air.

"He must've bugged my truck sometime. Was he Taren?"

"N-no.. He.. He said he was Cane."
I felt Lucas pause at this statement. I could tell he was confused as to why a Cane member would attack me. So I told him. "I... I killed someone.."

"I know. I know how it feels.. To kill someone for the first time.. it's scary."

He kissed my hair and stroked his fingers through it. The sensation had a calming effect but, "No." I leaned away from him, much to my body's discontentment, "I killed someone else.."

His gaze zeroed in on me, eagerly waiting for further explanation.

"I.. I killed.. DeWitt." Something flashed through Lucas' eyes that I couldn't understand. Satisfaction? Resolution? No. That can't be.
"He.. He was going to kill me.. And Jared. I could feel it.." lucas sat patiently and listened. I was thankful for his silence. If I stopped talking now, I would never be able to talk about this again. "I killed his guards... As well. There were three of them. But. They killed Jared. I'd never shot anyone before.. But they were going to kill me if I didn't!" Tears streamed endlessly from my eyes down my chin and dropped in neat polka dots on my palms.

Lucas cupped my face with his warm hands and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "Alice, look at me. I need you to listen." I opened my eyes and peered into those golden orbs that have littered my thoughts ever since I first saw them. "I am so proud of you." His face was intense, as if he were forcing his next words to register in my brain. "You've overcome countless circumstances that no one could dream of. Now I want you to know. All of these were self-defense. You are not a killer, you're a survivor. Do you understand that?"

I didn't answer as the tears pooled in my eyes once again.

"This world is ugly. Don't let it ruin you." I closed my eyes and nodded as he wiped away a few more tears.
"At first, I did compare you to Ally. I thought you two were so similar.. But now, I see how different you two really are. I only wish she had possessed your strength."