Never let you go

Chapter 5

Hunter:

I'm shocked when Grey walks into my room. I don't know why but I wasn't expecting to see her again or at least not so soon. I'm not disappointed she's here though which scares the hell out of me. What scares me more is that I think I'm actually happy to see her. If I know one thing's for sure it's that I need to keep my guard up when this girl is around because I think she has the ability to make me do crazy things.

I take in her appearance and notice her gorgeous long locks are damp and I'm assuming it's because she just took a shower. Once the thought of her being in the shower pops into my head I can't help but picture her naked and she's smoking hot. As I look at her here in front of me it's not difficult to believe that her body is probably perfect underneath her clothes. Today she has on dark purple long sleeved shirt which surprisingly brings out her eyes and contrasts beautifully with her fair skin and dark hair. She's beautiful. I could definitely have picked an uglier girl to risk my life for. It would have made forgetting her a lot easier.

She stands nervously a few feet away from my bed for several minutes without saying a word and I decide that I'm going to have some fun messing with her. She so damn innocent and pure I bet I could make her blush. The thought of seeing her fair skin blush scarlet excites me and so I decide to have some fun.

I succeed in getting her to blush when I ask her if she is going to say anything or if she just came to stare at me all day. I'm a little rude when I ask but that's just because I'm an asshole. She being the sweet thing that she is apologizes and I feel bad for a second but then I rebound with another comeback. My comeback causes her to blush again and I feel satisfied that I'm winning this little game I'm playing with her. She surprises me though by quickly recovering and bravely telling me that I'm full of myself. She giggles when she says it and her laugh is so goddamn adorable that before I can stop myself I'm staring at her like she is the most fascinating thing on the planet. What the hell? Stop looking at her like that.

Luckily I'm the king of being aloof and before she can read too much into what happened I have wiped the look off my face. Maybe she didn't notice. That's what I tell myself at least but I'm pretty sure that she actually did notice. She doesn't mention it though, instead she goes on to ask me trivial questions about when I'm getting out and how long I have to wear my cast. I'm thankful for the simple questions because that means I can give her simple answers. I'm hoping that by being a distant jerk that maybe she'll get the hint that I'm no good for her but then she gets this panicked look on her face and I feel that urge to protect her again. I want to take away her fears and see her smile. What the fuck? Seriously. What. The. Fuck. Why do I feel this way about someone I don't even know? I ask her what's wrong and she promptly lies and says everything's fine. I contemplate calling her on it but decide to let it go. She tells me she has to go but that she'll be back tomorrow and as she runs out the door I try to silence the war that is going on within me. One side prays that she'll walk away and never return but the other side hopes that she keeps her word because if I'm being honest a small part of me is dying to see her again.

A couple hours after Grey leaves two other people come to visit me. Sam, who I learn is Grey's best friend and roommate, and her boyfriend Daniel, who I learn is the first friend I made when I moved here. They seem cool enough. Sam is outspoken and spunky and Daniel actually reminds me a little of myself. He of course is less aloof and it's obvious how much he adores Sam. If you ask me that girl has him whipped but he doesn't seem to care. I can't really blame him though she is pretty hot.

I guess when I say that he reminds me of me I should clarify that he reminds me of who I was before the accident that ruined my life. Surprisingly I'm not talking about this accident I'm talking about the accident that happened well I guess about over a year and a half ago now. That's strange for me to think about. To me that accident hasn't even reached its one year anniversary. Anyway that accident is the one that ruined my life. That's the one where I lost the girl I was going to marry and two of my best friends. Before that accident my life was pretty much perfect. I had everything I wanted and needed and I was going off to an Ivy League school to play football and study architecture, and the best part was that Jess was coming with me. Then in one night it was all ripped away from me. After that accident I became the dick that I am now who drinks way too much and fucks random strangers and gets in ridiculous fights that nearly kill me.

I wonder how I became friends with Daniel, Sam, and Grey. None of them have really told me and I'm curious because they really don't seem like the kind of people who hang out with scummy assholes like me, especially Grey. Was I somehow a different person once I came here? No. That's not possible. There is no way I let go of my guilt and grief when I came here. Who knows maybe I hid that side from them or maybe they just don't really know me all that well. That was possible. I've become very good at keeping people at arms length and wearing a mask of normalcy when I need to. Maybe I had them fooled. I think about Grey and how I don't really think I have her all that fooled. There's something in the way that she looks at me that tells me she might have actually seen through some of my walls and that scares the shit out of me. I hardly know her but I can already tell that she deserves better than me. What the hell has she been doing hanging out with me for the past five months?

Questions like this race through my mind for hours until I eventually grow tired and drift to sleep. The good thing about being in the hospital is that they give me so much pain meds and stuff to make me sleep that I've been having less nightmares. I'm surprised though tonight when I see Grey's face just as I'm about to slip into unconsciousness.