Never let you go

Chapter 64

Hunter:

It was the strangest thing. Right as Grey was beginning to tell me all about her past all of the memories I had lost came rushing back to me. It was how I knew what she was going to say. God, as she sits across from me and I relive her telling me her tragic past it hurts like hell to know what she's been through and then when I remember what I did after she told me I hate myself. How could I have left her? Okay, I know how I did it and I know why I did it, but it seemed so insane to me now. I couldn't imagine ever walking away from her again. Life was too miserable without her.

Of course Grey immediately begs me not to do this to myself, but how can I not? How can I not hate myself for hurting her? It was something I had feared all along and to find out it was true was torturous. When she goes on though to tell me how she needs me not to do this, how she needs me not to push her away, how she simply just needs me I do my best to let go of all of my anger towards myself. She's pretty damn smart my girl I have to give her that much because she knows that I'll put her needs before my own. I'm so damn happy she knows that I don't even dwell on the fact that she just manipulated me.

I tell her how sorry I am anyway as I fight back tears because there is no way I can't apologize. I don't care if she doesn't want me to. I have to. When she tells me she knows I can tell just how truthful she is. I can tell that she knows so much more about me than I ever thought possible and now that I have my memories back I can remember every single conversation we have ever had and every single thing we have ever been through. I would do anything for this girl. She is my world. My home. My safe place.

As I look at her now and remember the first time I saw her I can't help but tell her everything I had thought that night when I first laid eyes on her. I may have been too fucked up for words then, but there was no denying that I had felt something for her in that moment. That was the moment she saved my life.

There's only one thing left for me to do now and that is to apologize for her loss. I need to tell her how sorry I am that she lost Jason because I know how agonizing it is to lose someone you love so young. It's crippling and you feel like you won't survive it.

When she thanks me for everything I have done for her and everything I have given her it takes everything in me not to sob like a little boy. I want to say something to her about how she gave me my life back but I never get the chance because before I can say a word her lips crash into mine and thoughts of anything else are forgotten. I kiss her softly and slowly as I taste her tears and lay her down on the bed.

As we continue to kiss one another I feel something change between us I'm just not quite sure what yet.

"You okay?" I ask her breathlessly.

She doesn't say a word though as she grabs the hem of my shirt and tugs it over my head and once my shirts gone I realize what's going on and my heart begins to beat rapidly in my chest.

"Grey" I breathe. "You don't have to do this."

It almost kills me to say this because of how much I want her and because of how long I've waited for this specific moment, but I can't do this if it's not what she really wants. I don't want her to do this just because she feels like we've reached that point in our relationship. I want her to do this because she has no doubt in her mind that she wants nothing more than she wants me. I want her to do this because of the same reasons I am, because I love her and can't imagine my life without her.

Once again she doesn't say a word as she reaches up and traces my scars with her fingers. She delicately caresses each one and her touch causes my heart and body to do crazy things. When she touches me like this I feel like I'm being healed, like as long as she's near me like this the pain I have felt for so long is a little less painful. I can tell she is holding back tears as she touches the scar I received saving her life and I want in that moment to do so many different things and to say so many different things to make her feel better, but I remain quiet and allow her to work through whatever it is she is feeling.