Never let you go

Chapter 63

Grey:

The rest of the weekend with my sister goes by quickly and wonderfully. We all have so much fun together and she even sees Chase again. One night he took her out to dinner just the two of them. I can tell Ashley really likes him but that she's holding back because she's afraid of what might happen with the distance.

"You do realize you are both graduating in a few weeks?" I ask while she packs her things and gets ready to go.

"Yes, but then I'm going off to med school and he's going to graduate school to get his doctorate."

"Okay" I say slowly. "Where is he going to graduate school?"

She pauses for a moment and crinkles her nose. "You know what? That actually never came up."

"What?" I ask. "How did that never come up? You didn't ask?"

She shakes her head. "No. I mean not that I wasn't interested. We just had so many things to talk about. I never told him I was going to Johns Hopkins either."

I shake my head in amazement. "You are both very strange."

"Hey!" she says pretending to be offended. "You are one to talk."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask.

"You haven't exactly told Hunter everything about yourself and you guys have known each other for months."

Ouch. Okay. Low blow. "That's different" I say feeling defensive. "At least he knows what school I go to."

Ashley sighs, "I know it's different. I didn't mean anything by it. Sorry."

"It's okay" I say quietly even though I feel even more guilty now for not telling him everything.

Ashley is silent for a while, but I can tell there is something she wants to say to me so I just patiently wait until she's ready.

"Can I say something without you getting angry?" she asks.

"Of course."

"You should tell him Grey" she says and by her tone I know she isn't scolding me for not telling him yet, but encouraging me to actually do it. "I know you're scared, but I think he can handle it. I don't think he will look at you differently and I don't think it will scare him away. That boy loves you more than anything in this world. You are all that matters to him."

Her words touch me more than I can describe. I know Hunter feels that way about me, but hearing it from someone else just makes it that much more real. She's right, I know that. I know he can handle it, and I know it won't scare him off, at least not the parts about Jason which is what she is referring to. What I'm worried about is the part where I tell him I've told him this all before and how he left afterwards. I know that will kill him, but I can't hide it from him. What if he does get his memory back one day? He'll find out then anyway and he'll probably be more hurt that I didn't tell him in the first place. I would hate myself if that happened.

"I know you're right Ash" I say. "I know he loves me and I know he can handle this. I know that nothing will ever make him walk away from me, and I plan on telling him everything soon . . ."

"Why do I feel like there's a but coming on?" Ashley asks as she studies me.

"Because there is" I say defeated. I really didn't want to tell her about what happened the first time I told Hunter everything, because I don't want her to hate him, but I guess I kind of have to now. "Ash, there's more for me to tell besides the Jason stuff."

"What do you mean?" she asks and there's an edge to her voice.

"I've been telling Hunter all about our time together from before his accident since he couldn't remember but I've left some stuff out because I didn't want to hurt him, but once I tell him about Jason I'm going to have to tell him that I told him this before and I know he's going to ask questions . . ." I say trailing off as I remember the pain of waking up the next day to find him gone and then having him tell him he didn't love me. I really didn't want to have to tell him any of that. I'm not sure I can bare it.