Never let you go

Chapter 57

Hunter:

I was so close to saying it. It was literally on the tip of my tongue but I held it back because I want to tell Grey everything before I tell her I love her. The party she had back for me at her apartment was great and the fact that she went through all the trouble of putting up all those decorations shows me how much I mean to her, but after a couple hours I was ready to leave. I was ready to be alone with her and tell her everything. I don't need to be afraid.

The whole time we walk to my apartment though I can feel my heart pounding in my chest but I try not to show it. Every time Grey looks up at me though I feel myself relax a little bit. She loves me. I just have to keep telling myself that. She won't walk away from me. She won't blame me. God, I hope she doesn't blame me.

When we get inside my apartment I really start to freak out and I feel like the walls are closing in on me as I prepare myself to tell her all about my past. Grey seems perfectly at ease and I wonder if it has to do with the alcohol. I wish I still had a buzz going that would definitely make this easier but I forced myself not to drink too much because I knew I needed to be sober when I did this. Luckily I noticed that Grey wasn't drinking too much either so I know she's sober enough right now that I can have this conversation with her. I almost wish she wasn't but I know I can't prolong this any longer. I may have waited too long already. What if she doesn't forgive me for hiding this from her for so long?

"Hunter?" I hear Grey's soft voice call to me from across the room. "Are you alright?"

I turn my head towards her and as my eyes lock with hers I feel my heart rate begin to slow as a sense of calmness comes over me. I'm safe with her. She is home to me. I can do this.

"Yea" I say as I walk towards her. I take her hand in mine and lead her towards the couch. "I need to talk to you about something."

I see her take in a deep breath and her eyes widen a bit. She's nervous. She's afraid of what I'm going to tell her. "Okay" she says exhaling. "You know you can tell me anything" she adds as she squeezes my hand reassuringly. And as if she knows that I need to hear it now more than ever she says, "I love you."

I smile softly at her and thank God for bringing her into my life. I really am the luckiest bastard out there. She's saved my life and she has absolutely no idea. It was about time I told her.

"When I was younger I was geeky and awkward" I say starting off. Grey releases a small smile as she pictures me this way and it warms my heart. "I was on the JV football team my freshman year of high school so that helped me be socially accepted by me peers but I was more of the reserved bookworm type." I see the look of surprise on Grey's face and it makes me laugh. "I know hard to believe right?" I ask. "But yea that was me. The first day of my freshman year I saw the most beautiful girl. She was a new student but even on her first day I think she managed to make more friends than I had all my life. Her name was Jess and she was so full of fire and life that I think everyone was drawn to her like a magnet. I know I was. She had the most beautiful long blonde hair and sun-kissed skin with these incredible ice blue eyes. She took my breath away the first time I saw her and so it was on that day that I knew I had to know her. I made it my mission to get to her know her and make her notice me but that was easier said than done when every guy in the school was fighting for her attention. I had to sit back and watch for months as she went out with seniors and juniors who didn't deserve her and treated her like she was anything but extraordinary. It was killing me. Finally one day we got paired up for an assignment in English. I was psyched. I was finally going to get my shot. When I went to her house to work on the project I was so nervous, but she was nice and friendly and made me feel at ease around her. By the end of that day I gathered up the courage to ask her out and to my dismay she turned me down, but that didn't stop me from continuing to ask her. I could tell she liked me so everyday day I asked her out and everyday for ten days straight she shot me down, but on the eleventh day she finally said yes. Part of me worried she just said yes so I would stop asking but I knew deep down it was because she wanted to go out with me. I think she was just afraid of actually going out with a nice guy for a change. I think she was scared I would hurt her."