Never let you go

Chapter 48

Grey:

I spend the next week in complete and utter agony. I walk around like a zombie speaking only when spoken too. I cancel my tutoring sessions for the week because seeing Grayson is the last thing I want to do. If I see him I might actually strangle him to death. Sam stays in with me Friday night using the lame excuse that she has homework, but I appreciate how much she cares.

The next morning I wake up and go for a run. When I realize where I'm headed I stop dead in my tracks and force myself to turn around. Don't go there Grey. As I turn away from the direction that leads to Hunter's apartment I feel another piece of my heart break. I sprint away desperately seeking the solace of physical pain as opposed to this phantom emotional pain.

As I run past the athletic fields of my school I see other athletes out for morning runs. When I see a familiar face running towards me I swallow back the bile I feel rising in my throat. Grayson. He waves at me and picks up his pace when he sees me begin to drift in the other direction away from him.

"Grey! Wait!" he calls out. I don't stop. I can't. I hate him. Eventually though he catches me because he's taller and faster and I've already been running for nearly an hour. He grabs my arm and stops me. "Hold up a second speedy" he says catching his breath and the lazy smile he gives me makes me feel sick. How can he act this way when he helped to destroy my world?

I look down at his hand wishing it would fall off hating that it's touching me right now. "Let me go Grayson" I growl.

"No" he says holding on more tightly. Bad idea. "Not until you talk to me."

"I have nothing to say to you" I say angrily. "Now let me go" I add as I rip my arm from his grasps.

"What's wrong?" he asks like he really has no idea.

"Are you serious?" I ask incredulously.

"Is this about that loser?" he asks like the idea is ridiculous to him.

"That loser?" I ask disgust filling my tone for his choice of words. "Seriously Grayson, fuck you." I move to storm away but he catches my arm again.

"Come on" he says. "I did you a favor with that guy. You guys were never going to last and you know it. I was just helping to speed up the inevitable."

White hot rage hits me. "You know nothing!" I shout. "You certainly don't know me and if you ever thought I'd end up with someone like you then you are out of your mind!"

"Don't be like that Grey" he says but I can tell I'm getting to him as his grip on my arm strengthens. I'm starting to worry I'll have a bruise.

"Let me go Grayson" I say evenly.

"No" he says tightening his hold even more and I wince. "I'm not letting go until you listen to me."

"I've already listened to you. We're done here" I say definitively as I rip my arm away from him again.

"No we're not" he says angrily as he reaches for me but this time I stop him as all my years of training kick in. I duck as I turn and then leap up to strike him in his perfect model face. As I pull my fist away blood splurges everywhere and I smile.

"You bitch!" he wails. "You fucking broke my nose."

"I'll break a lot more than that if you ever come near me again" I promise. "Stay the hell away from me Grayson. You and your rich daddy can kiss my ass."

I storm away from him feeling good about myself for the first time in a week.

When I make it back to the apartment Sam immediately rushes over to me when she sees the blood on my hand and sweatshirt. "What the hell happened?" she asks as she lifts my hand and then looks at the rest of my body making sure I'm not injured anywhere else.

"I punched Grayson in the face" I say proudly.

"You what?" she asks shocked with a hint of a smile on her face.

"I ran into him while I was out on my run and he kept grabbing my arm and he was saying these awful things about Hunter and finally something in me just snapped."

"Good for you Grey" she says and I can see pride fill her features. "The asshole deserved it. Now why don't I grab some ice for your hand?"

"Thanks" I giggle.

Once Sam grabs ice for my hand she instructs for me to sit still and relax for a little while. I want to shower but I really should put ice on this right away so I listen. As we sit together on the couch we watch TV neither one of us speaking both of us just enjoying the quiet.

Eventually we hear a knock on the door and I hate the way my heart races with the hope that it could be Hunter. Sam jumps up to get it and then she lets the person in and I feel myself both tense up and relax when I see Daniel. I hadn't seen him since the incident last week. I wondered if he's seen Hunter.

"Holy shit Grey" he says when he sees me and I suppose my appearance was a little more alarming than it needed to be since some of Grayson's blood had gotten on my clothes. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I punched Grayson in the face" I say as I hold up my injured hand and offer him a small smile.

"Seriously?" he asks looking from me to Sam.

"Yep" Sam says proudly. "She kicked the bastard's ass."

Daniel looks at me uncomfortably like he wants to say something but he's not sure he should. A part of me is curious but then a part of me isn't sure I really want to know. "So what do you two have planned for today?" I ask choosing not to know what Daniel wanted to say fearing it would hurt too much.

"Nothing" Sam says as she shrugs her shoulders and I realize she didn't invite him here which means he really must be here to see me.

"Well you guys should go out and do something fun" I say trying to make my tone light. "That's an order" I add as I point a finger at them and narrow my eyes, which earns me a laugh from Sam.

"Are you sure?" Sam asks once her laughter dies down.

"I'm sure" I nod. "Go."

Sam walks away so she can go get dressed since she is still in her pajamas leaving Daniel and me in the living room. "Grey" he says softly and slowly. "I'm sorry about what happened."

"It's okay Daniel. It wasn't your fault."

"I know" he sighs. "I just . . . it just sucks." I almost laugh. That was one way of putting it. We are both silent for a while and I have hope that maybe that was all he wanted to say, but I'm wrong. "He misses you Grey."

He says it so quietly I think I imagined it. Those four words tear into me. I can't help but ask. "You've seen him?"

He nods. "Yea. He's a real mess without you, but he'd probably kick my ass for telling you that" he laughs.

For some reason his words make me feel better and yet worse at the same time. "He thinks he's doing this for you" he continues. "I think everything he's done up until this point has been for you. He thinks he's protecting you by letting you go. It's twisted I know and I don't understand it but that's why he's doing this. He's afraid he'll hurt you if he stays with you."

I already knew all this but hearing it from someone else somehow made it different. "I can't make him want to be with me" I say dejectedly trying to keep the hope I feel rising up in me out.

"But he does want to be with you" Daniel says frustrated and I wonder who is more frustrated with. Me or Hunter? "That's why this is so messed up. Maybe if you went to see him . . . I think seeing you would change his mind."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that deep down Hunter still wanted me, but then why didn't he fight for me?

"Just go see him Grey. He needs you. He's in a bad place right now and I think you are the only one who can reach him."

I used to believe that too. I used to believe that I could pull Hunter out of the darkness that he was sinking into but so far I was failing. I was failing him. That realization hit me like a freight train. I couldn't fail him not after all he has done for me. As I replay Daniel's words in my mind it crushes me to hear that Hunter is in a bad place. I can't let the darkness get him. I won't let it win. He needs me.