Never let you go

Chapter 38

Grey:

I'm supposed to be going home this weekend for the start of my spring break but I have absolutely no desire to go. Hunter and I are doing well. I can tell he's really trying to be all in this with me but I know he's scared, and that's why I can't go. I can't lose all the progress we have made. I could take him with me but that means I would have to tell my parents about Hunter and everything that's happened. It also meant that I would have to tell Hunter about Jason because chances are he would come up somehow and I wouldn't want Hunter to be blindsided. I'm not sure I was ready to do all of that just yet. I'm going to call my mom today and tell her I'm not coming. I know she's going to freak but she'll have to get over it. Sam wasn't very happy either when I told her I wasn't coming back with her but she understood.

Hunter still doesn't know I decided to stay here with him so he's been spending a lot of time at my apartment with me and I'm not complaining.

"Shouldn't you be packing?" he asks as I sit on my bed with him.

"I'll do it later" I lie. I don't want to tell him I'm staying until after I talk to my mom. "Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?" I tease.

"Never" he tells me as he leans in to kiss me. "If I could I'd keep you here with me I would."

My heart swells from hearing him say this. I know it's difficult for him to be vulnerable like this so it means that much more when he says sweet things.

"That would be nice" I say trying to hide my smile because I know it will give me away. I decide to quickly change the subject so I don't have to pretend I'm not staying anymore. "Are nervous about your first day at work tomorrow?" I ask.

"Not really" he says. "Daniel will be there and most of the other guys seem pretty cool. I just wish you would be there too. You kind of help put me at ease with this whole not being able to remember thing." He smiles shyly at me as he rubs the back of his neck and he looks so much like a young boy right now instead of the hardened man he pretends to be. It melts my heart and if it's possible I think I fall more in love with him.

"You'll be okay" I say as I take his hand. "I promise."

"Yea I guess you're right" he says and I can see him struggling not to put all of his barriers back up. "I should probably go it's getting late and you have packing to do."

I want to tell him to stay. I want to tell him to hold me in his arms all night like he did last night, but I don't mainly because I need to call my mom and he can't be here when I do that. It's so hard letting him go though I think a part of me is still so terrified every time I see him will be the last time. Whenever we don't spend the night together I either don't sleep or I have nightmares about losing him.

"Okay" I say quietly. "Will you stop by tomorrow?"

"Of course" he says. "I got to see my girl off don't I?"

I smile. "You called me your girl."

"Well you are aren't you?" he asks.

"Always" I tell him. "Always."

Once Hunter leaves I call my mom. I was right it's not pretty. She freaks out.

"What do you mean you aren't coming home tomorrow?" she asks.

"I mean mom I'm going to stay here at school" I say making sure to keep my voice calm and even.

"No" she says dismissing the idea. "You are coming home tomorrow young lady. It's been months since we've seen you and we miss you. I know it's difficult for you to be here but I think you can manage a week. I miss my daughter, Grey."