Never let you go

Chapter 51

Hunter:

When I heard her name being called up on stage my heart stopped. I couldn't believe she was here. My eyes automatically find her and after not seeing her for over a week I'm even more taken aback by her beauty. She's so fucking beautiful the mere sight of her consumes me. She is all I see and right now in this moment nothing else exists.

My heart races like a fucking jack hammer inside my chest as I listen to her speak. She's speaking to me. I'm moved by her words and knowing that they are meant for me means the world to me. I have never doubted that she loves me but now I knew without a doubt that she wasn't going anywhere. I could trust her with my past. Of course I was still terrified of telling her but I owed it to her to tell her. I owed it to our future.

When she sings I'm overcome by emotion because her voice is just so damn beautiful and because I know what this song means to her. She told me once how this is one of her favorites and how even though it's kind of a sad song she doesn't see it that way. She thinks of it as a song about fighting for love and how hard it is but love is worth the struggle. I know that's what she is trying to tell me now and I love that she's here fighting for me. I love that she thinks I'm worth it.

When she finishes singing I run into the back room because I think I might lose it. My breathing is coming out ragged and I'm finding it difficult to take in oxygen. My chest feels like it might explode if I don't tell her how sorry I am, if I don't touch her. I need her. That much is clear to me. I hate myself so damn much for hurting her.

I sense her before she speaks but I don't turn around to look at her. I'm not ready yet. I need to calm down first. I hear worry in her voice as she asks if I'm alright and it kills me. I don't want her to worry about me. Correction, I don't want to be giving her reasons to worry.

As I turn around to look at her I can tell I scared her when I slammed my fist against the wall. I didn't mean to do that. I just kind of really wanted to hit myself and since I couldn't do that without looking crazy the wall was my only other option.

I'm still shaking and taking ragged breaths as I whisper to her how sorry I am. Being the sweet loving person she is of course she tells me it's okay and I get angry. Not at her but at myself for ever hurting her in the first place. How could I have ever hurt her? What the fuck was I thinking?

I go on and tell her once again how sorry I am and how I have no idea what I was thinking. My thoughts come out scrambled and unclear since I can barely get a full sentence out. Eventually though I'm able to express to her how sorry I am for hurting her and how it is the last thing I ever wanted. I warn her once again though how I screw everything up because it only seems fair that I offer her one more chance to walk away before I claim her as mine. Of course she doesn't though. She just tells me she needs me and that she's only hurting when I'm away from her.

She takes my breath away and along with it my words and my thoughts and once again I'm fighting for something to say. I can only manage her name and I can tell this worries her. She thinks I'm going to walk away but that is so far from the truth and when she tells me she loves me I know for sure that I will always be in love with her. She owns me completely.

I whisper to her that I don't deserve her just before I gently crash my lips into hers. I can tell she's surprised but then I feel her willingly give into my kiss as she melts into me. This is where I belong. Here. With her. Always. I pull her closer to me wishing there was no space between as at all. I so badly want to take this further than just kissing but I remind myself I can't do that since we are in a public place and anyone could come back here and see us and I know Grey would be mortified. I also would never want any other guy to see what's mine. Just thinking about how she's mine sends a thrill through me and I kiss her more hungrily as I let out a growl and spin her around pinning her against the wall. God I love her.