Twirling pages -The Review book (OPEN)

The f*cked up story of ours (Juhi)

Reviewer- JuhiMehta268

Author- dagirlwholovedyou

Book name: The f*cked up story of ours

Title(Titre)

I have mixed opinion about the title is not that bad but it was not intriguing to catch the attention of the readers at first glance and also your story is not mature one and your title somewhere gives a hint to the people that it is going to mature story so those who are not comfortable will not read the story. So in my suggestion, you should try different title to gain more attention.

Cover(couverture)

The cover is way too simple and it was definitely not going with the storyline. There was no resemblance with the plot. Cover is the second most important thing which gains the attention of readers and there is no creativity from your side while selecting the cover. There are so many talented graphics designers here in wattpad try using their services ask them to make a cover for your story.

Blurb( la description)

Blurb is very important part of any story as it is what attracts the reader to our story . Here the blurb of your story is good and eye catchy and as a reader it definitely makes me press the read button.

Storyline(scénario)

Plot is really good one. It showcased the fantasy world where every character had their own ability. Some has power to regenerate while some can see through the past. The concept is really interesting. And the storyline was new for me and also the interesting one. After every chapter it seriously made me so curious to read more and your creativity enhances it. The way you explained about the maze and also the history class was really very commendable.

Characters(personnages)

No charcter sketch was there in starting of story , new charcters came as the story progressed but in my opinion you should have given the separate character sketch as there were so many charcters and somewhere as a reader I was confused. I then had to scroll up to previous chapters to read about the charcter again if you should have given the charcter sketch in between the chapters about all the teachers and what subject they are teaching , it would be little bit easy to understand. While overall the you potrayed your charcters really well especially Eritria like in beginning of the story, how stubborn she was and as the story progressed her nature changed, she also fell in love, whereas she hated the word love, so as a reader I was able to feel her emotions very well but whereas I could not connect much with the Thunder's character as his pov. was never there in the story. The way he has been treated by Eritria so what he was feeling at that time was not portrayed very well, while the other characters you played really well.

Grammar(grammaire)

The grammar was simple and easy to understand Personally, I didn't find any mistakes but I suggest you to add translation of the sentences where you used different language. Most of them were translated but sometimes it was not there like for example " Iniibig din kita" no translation was given and there was one more like this so try to look after this and add translation about the words or sentences you used in different language other than English.

Flow(Couler)

The flow or the detailing of the story was good the story was going with the right pace as it is neither fast nor to slow I didn't feel any break as the story proceed detailing was there in every chapter you explained it very well , so very good job in detailing.

Reviewer opinion(Critique)

I read entire 20 chapters that was published and I loved the story it definitely takes me to the fantasy world where everyone has their own ability every character is different from one another. I loved the bond of friendship between the girls and simplicity of Thunder. The story is the mixture of everything which readers love to read mystery, romance, fantasy, love etc. everything was showcased pretty well. Some editing is definitely required.please work on the points I mentioned about while overall this story has the power to keep the readers interest inact which is commendable. I hope it remains same as the story procceds further. You are doing a great job. I Hope this review was helpful to you.

All the best

Star- 3.5/5

Thankyou

Juhi Mehta

💓💓

I hope this review helped you.

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