Book: My Crazy Butterfly.
Author: Ahsana_
Reviewer: girly_blush
Title (Titre):
A title is the base of a story. It should be catchy and attractive. Then only, readers will have a look at the blurb. Here, the title of your story could have been more innovative. Your story wasn't written in Aryaan's point of view. Therefore, naming it "My Crazy Butterfly" wasn't a good choice. It wasn't an uncommon one either.
Cover (couverture) :
Cover is the first thing that attracts a reader. Here, the cover used wasn't an appealing one. Graphics and fonts used weren't attractive. The genre of your story was fantasy. But the cover failed to show the fantasy inside the plot. I won't say, the cover was bad. But, changing it would be a good alternative.
Blurb (la description):
A good blurb is important as it pulls the interest of the reader. A good blurb will make them read the story further. The blurb, you wrote wasn't good enough. You could have depicted it more specifically. Adding a suitable quote or picturing the events more precisely would do.
Storyline (scènario):
The storyline was unique. It was your first try on the fantasy genre. However, it came out well. It was interesting to read the story.
Grammar (grammaire) :
You have many mistakes in this part. Your punctuations were bad. Even you had severe grammatical errors. You wrote most of the past tense in present form. Also, some typos were there. Please do the editing. That would help. Some of the punctuation errors are listed below:
• Use punctuation marks at necessary places. Always write the pronoun "I" in capital letter.
Example:
"Are you a human" i asked to him. ✖
"Are you a human?" I asked him. ✔
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• There were some errors which happened due to your negligence.
Example:
"Stop please", i shouted. And after so many shouts he finally shouted. ✖
" Please stop!" I shouted. And after so many attempts, he finally stopped ✔
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• At some places, you have left gap while writing the dialogue.
Example:
" i am not from any mental hospital, i am from my palace" i said ✖
"I'm not from any mental hospital, but from my palace," I stated. ✔
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Characters (personnages):
Khushi's character sketch was done quietly in a good manner. It was interesting. The way you portrayed her curiosities and anxieties were elegant. But in Aryaan's case, it wasn't a detailed description. You haven't penned down his emotions and sentiments well.
Flow (Couler):
Even though the flow was good, because of the grammar mistakes, it lost its charm. While reading the flashback part and the second part of the story, I felt a break. You could have avoided it, if you had written better.
Reviewer's opinion (critique):
I would say the plot was good. It was a fantasy fiction. But, you failed to express the fantasy in the story through the narration. As a reader, I felt like, I was reading general fiction. Because of grammatical errors, the story lost its charm. Try to improve your grammar. Sentence formation wasn't good. There were many mistakes. Please have a look at it.
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Thank you! Hope, it helped you.
All the best for your future works.
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