Sparks in the Dark

What I wouldn't give..

I'd do anything to have you in my arms and smiling.

Laying in my room, it's dark and I stir from sleep. I look to my side, but your still not there.. I sit up, and put my head in my hands.

What am I doing with my life..? I don't wanna be here. I don't know where to go. God I miss you. Fuck man.

I put on soft music, take 5 melatonin, and lay down looking at the ceiling, hoping I won't wake for hours.

I still see you in my dreams. Think of you before I sleep. I still hope to see you in my room in the mornings. But I don't wake up in the mornings to you anymore. I wake up around 4 in the afternoon. Tired and still drained. I still can't believe I let you go sometimes. God I was so stupid.

I wonder if he is holding you. I wonder if he's asking about you enough, and if he's putting enough smiles on your face. Do you ever think of me? While your alone in your room..?

I know you don't sleep either.. your still active at 6am.. are you thinking of me too? As the sun comes up, do you dread the day..? I hate when I wake up, because at first, it's all ok, but then it sets in again, and my stomach hurts...

I know I haven't really been eating.. but when I do.. it's for you. But you don't know that... I don't want you to know that.

What I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms again...

I miss you.. and I'm sorry..

I hope I don't wake up...