Sparks in the Dark

The Chase

Living off memories, subdued in the past. Its like a movie on loop of mistakes and happy days. Is it worth it?

I battle myself with this obsessive side of me who holds on so dearly. I wish I could stop but it seems like every time I try I end up back in this rabbit hole. 

Like wolf on the hunt, I run from all problems I can't deal with, and kill the ones I can. I continue to chase these thoughts that I hope to come true, but I know will not. 

The chase is never over until I give up, but I don't wish to be a failure. I can slow, but never stop. It feels endless.

When I'm with you time stops. And you may not be the chase, but when you run with me I feel almost free. I want to end the chase and settle with you, but no matter what I do my anxiety and fears  will always catch up to me once I stop running. 

Will you even be able to deal with me once I stop running, once everything starts to stop. Will you still be there to anchor me down when I want to run again? Even if I become someone new? Some one broken..?

I wish I could ask you, but I'd rather not scare you away, my chase is still moving, but when you run with me its all the better, I just don't want to stop.