Sparks in the Dark

Cigarette ash

Your not going to get better are you? 

Your just going to keep smoking away your living days, drinking to fill the hole inside of you that you don't know how to fill. 

You know, if you listened to me maybe you'd be less scared of getting hurt and be more scared of how your hurting yourself. 

I'm so proud that your getting better in other aspects of your life, but when are you going to start wanting to live?

You hang onto men and love like they are what is keeping you alive, you hold alcohol like it is what keeps your bad feelings at bay, you hold that lit cigarette like the smoke being huffed into your lung are helping you to feel just so so much better. 

Poison creeps in your brain like it is right at home, it laces memories and wraps around your heart navigating you. 

Your different, y'know? Have you noticed? I can't quite put my finger on it, but you feel different. Far away, empty, always contemplating. 

Are you feeling the same burdening hole in your chest? The insatiable crave for something new?

Or maybe your tired, run down and sick of new, maybe your looking for familiarity, maybe you just want unwaning comfort. 

I still wonder sometimes if we are meant to last. Our friendship knows no limits, but are we keeping each other here? Are we holding onto a rope being torn away? Is it only a matter of time until you leave as well because of some kind of cosmic lesson of letting go?