Sparks in the Dark

A Posed Question

Let me just pose a question for a moment. 

Why do people have to suck? So many failed relationships, so many failed friendships, so many failed relations with family members, so many lovers gone to the wind along with all of the betrayals and broken promises, the broken trust, the trauma, the messed up words still locked in place in your head. Why do people have to suck?

Follow up question. Why do I have to be cursed to miss and feel bad for all of them? Why of all people do I have to deal with the bullshit of missing every single person that ever leaves my life even if I'm the one who had to pull away in the end. Why are my emotions only in black in white where I either love someone and need them in my life, or I hate their guts and want them to die in a hole. Why do I have to deal with such strong emotions I can't even control.

Why did you have to leave? Why do you hate me? Why can't we make up? Why do you hold grudges? Why did you hurt me and others? Why did you make me push you away. 

Don't make my feelings out as sadness, I'm not sad or upset, I'm pissed. 

Why did you do the things that you did? Don't even tell me, let me run up and just lurk in your brain, let me file through your thoughts and dig up all of your truest feelings, because if I were to just ask you you would lie. All you ever do is lie. 

For once I'd just like to meet someone who is 100% transparent and just let me in, because this back and forth poking and prodding people to open up is turning into an annoying game that I keep having to restart at.