My Colors

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by _deep_dreamur_

by _deep_dreamur_

Red red red. All I see is red. Is it love, is it anger, is it lust. I'm covered in the color and its bleeding out of my body like the blood in my veins are pouring. It paints the ground as I slowly go through the motions of life, the red contrasting against the white floors, color burst out of my existence painting the walls only to be wiped clean again when I forget.

Peace brings white, and although I try to stay at peace often and try to be happy and calm anger sneaks up from the shadows as my inner child SCEAMS FOR FREEDOM AND TO BE HEARD. But I digress, life is good and I try to paint these walls a soft happy yellow. I hate yellow. Yellow is a happy color, but I don't much have my own happy color. I would say its blue or red or pink, but those colors already have too many other feelings along with them. Sad, somber, depressed, a soft warm rain, a harsh cold rain, on good days and bad days. That day. Anger, Love, Lust. The color that has followed me around. Its good, its bad, its toxic, its comforting, its suffocating. Manic manic manic love, its love, its sex, its beauty, its a gorgeous flower, its you. Fuck you for ruining this color for me, both of you. Pink was such an innocent and lovely color before you showed me that love can be 1-sided and cruel.

Color is everywhere and suffocates me like a thick smoke in the air, I cough it up like toxic smog. The colors escape from my throat like a light powder coloring my surroundings, and instead of being beautiful in contrast it paints things around me without my knowing or wanting and it colors people in variations ruining the contrasts of color for me as I watch more and more people carve into my heart with the colors my heart has made specially for them.

I don't wish to be filled with these colors anymore, but black and white is such a bore, I'd rather be gutted out than to live with no pain, no love, no c o l o r. My colors hurt me but I love my vibrant skies filled with so many wonderous emotions. I miss all of my colors. But lovingly, fuck you.