Letting Go

Thirty-nine

Humarap ako sa salamin at tinignan ang sarili ko na naka-BodyCon knee length black dress. Inabot ko ang brush at pinagpatuloy ang pag-bbrush sa buhok ko.

"Ot?" Pumunta ako sa pinto at binuksan 'yon, sumalubong sa'kin si Dara na naka-Sheath dress na knee length rin.

"Tara na?" She asked. I nodded.

Bumaba na kami para sa Black & White themed party ni Kuya. Sumakay na kami ni Dara sa elevator at inaantay nalang makaabot sa Event place ng condo.

Pagkapasok namin, sinundo ako ni Kuya, he offered me his hand at sumabay ako ng paglalakad sakanya.

"You're already an old man!" I laughed.

"Happy birthday!" I tapped his arms.

"Thanks, dear." Ngumiti sya sakin at pinakilala nya 'ko sa iba nya pang barkada.

Nakipag-kamay naman ako sakanila at umupo na ng mag-sstart na ang party.

Agad lumapit ang event organizer sa host at sinabihang magsimula na, bumukas rin ang ibang chandelier at mas marami pa na tao ang dumating.

"Autumn, this is Chill's brother anyway. Barkada ko, si Luxe." Kuya smiled.

What? Kuya Spring didn't tell me the whole time?

"H-Hello po." I smiled.

Dang. Chill would be here too.

He smiled. No wonder, Gonzales' genes.

Nagpaalam na 'ko sakanila ng sinundo ako ni Humprey sa pwesto ko kanina, umupo kami kasama si Dara sa isang round table for five.

So... Who would sit at the left two chairs?

"Autumn." Lahat kami napalingon sa isang naka-black coat na tumawag sa pangalan ko.

Nakita ko rin si Elle na naka-Empire waist dress na knee length lang rin at color black, naka-pumps, at may hawak na black purse.

"Chill... Elle... Sabay kayo?" Napansin ko sa gilid ng mata ko na napayuko si Dara habang si Humprey naman, diretso lang ang tingin kay Chill.

Elle smiled at me.

"Yeah. We were late, na-traffic kami jan sa-"

"It's fine. Go ahead, take a seat." I smiled.

Umiwas ako ng tingin sakanilang dalawa, magsisimula na ang party kaya nag-focus nalang ako sa host.

"Good afternoon, everyone!" Bati ng host.

Napatingin ako kay Kuya na masayang nakikipag-usap sa mga barkada nya.

Wala na si Daddy, wala pa si Mommy. May pagka-workaholic kasi si Mommy, and besides, ang trabaho at business namin ay nasa California kaya bihira nalang syang umuwi.

"Let's now start the program. But of course, since this program is a birthday celebration, we must first call on the birthday celebrant para sakanyang speech. So, may we call on the birthday boy, Spring, for his wonderful words to be outspoken!"

Naghiyawan ang mga barkada nya at tumayo na si Kuya ng nakangiti.

"My deepest gratitudes... Happy birthday to me." Sabi ni Kuya at ibinalik ang mic kaya tumawa kaming lahat.

"Joke. Ah- ayun, thank you at naka-attend kayo. This day is special, syempre para sakin--"

"Ang bading mo, Spring!" Sigaw ng isa nyang barkada, dahilan para mapatigil si Kuya at magtawanan lahat.

"Maraming salamat sa mga ummatend, lalo na sa date ko ngayong araw. My sister, Autumn. Ah, Humprey, pasensya ka na pero kunwarian ka lang nyang date."

Ngumiti naman kami ni Hump, "Lagot ka Kuya Spring! Susumbong ka daw nya kay Ate Haley!" I shouted. Everyone laugh as Kuya starts to be red.

"Basta, thank you! Ayun lang. Sa mga regalo nyo, present is good, but I need cash!" Huling sinabi ni Kuya and he gave the microphone back to the host. Nagtawanan kaming lahat at nagpatuloy ang program.

Sinerve na rin ng mga waiter ang pagkain at tahimik lang kaming lahat. Italian dish ang ginawa ni Kuya para sa party nya, and I think it's nice.

"Kamusta?" Tanong ni Elle sa amin ng nakangiti.

I looked at her, "Okay naman." I smiled.

Tumango lang sya at naputol nanaman ang pag-uusap.

Nag-serve sila ng Ai frutti di Mare, at kinain naman naming lahat 'yon. Patuloy lang kami sa pagkain at wala ni isa ang umiimik.

"Autumn, Humprey, Elle, and Chill. I have to go. Sila Mommy kasi, ngayon nalang ulit nasa bahay kaya pinasundo ako." Dara smiled.

Nakipag-beso naman sya saming lahat at tinignan nya 'ko na alam ko na ang ibig-sabihin. Hinatid ni Humprey si Dara sa baba kaya naiwan kaming tatlo nila Chill.

"Are you fine?" Tumingin si Chill sa akin, the usual. His serious face feels like he's looking at me deeply.

"H-Ha? Oo." Tumango ako.

"Ikaw? How are you these past few days? Or I mean, week?" I asked him seriously too.

Nilalayuan ko na rin kasi sya, at minsan, hindi nalang talaga rin sya sumasama. Like, after what I saw, kung may between na sakanilang dalawa ni Elle, I just need to have closure.

"Someone's trying to blow off of me." Napatingin kami ni Elle pareho sakanya.

"You can't run away from what's hunting you."

Naalala ko yung sinabi nya noong araw na 'yon.

Napatingin ako sa gilid ko ng bumalik na si Hump.

"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." Tumayo ako at nagpunta papunta sa may rest room.

Tumingin ako sa salamin at huminga ng malalim. Naghugas ako ng kamay, at pinatuyo rin agad ito.

Just as I walk through the door, he get closer to me. Nasa hallway kami ng cr pero walang tao, kaya nilapitan nya 'ko.

"Alam kong may problema." He put his hands on his pocket and looked away.

Umiling ako at umalis na. Bumalik ako sa Event room at umupo sa table namin.

"Okay ka lang?" Tanong ni Hump pagbalik ko sa table.

"I'm sorry." Napatingin kami ng sabay ni Elle kay Hump.

"D-Did I hurt you?" Tanong nya. Napailing ako.

Nanatiling nakayuko si Elle. I wasn't making any move.

"This is the time we have to accept the fact, Autumn." Tumingin sya sakin.

"First love will never be gone." She said seriously.

"Hindi pagmamahal ang nagkaroon kayo ni Chill, Elle. Tigilan mo na si Autumn." Humprey gritted his teeth. Hinawakan ko sya ng mariin sa braso nya.

We should not make any commotion here.

"You don't know things, Humprey. I'm just tryna get back what I had." Nanghihinang sinabi ni Elle.

"If Chill loved you, he would never leave you and put me into the place where you were. If Chill loves you, he wouldn't love me as this."

Kahit ako, naguluhan kung saan ko nakuha ang lakas ng loob ko. Nagseryoso ng tingin si Humprey.

"Sorry, Autumn. But I have to say this,"

"You said it. He put you in my place. You don't know what we had." I bit my lip.

"Sometimes, others must be used to forget someone..."

"But sometimes, you just can't forget."

Napansin ko nalang na papalapit na si Chill.

Was it really a certain time of love for you, Chill?