Jar of broken hearts

Chapter 29

#JOBH29

It took me more time to understand what my Mother said. I stare at picture of Zac and I, tears keep falling. I don't care if I look miserable because already I am.

I leave class because I'm so pre occupied to what happened yesterday. Iniisip ko kapag sumunod ako sa sinasabi ni Mommy, maayos ang lahat pero masasaktan ko si Zac.

I sat at in my couch. My mind wondering. Gulong gulo ako, nahihirapan akong magdesisyon. Hindi ako mapakali kaya tumayo ako at bumama.

Yesterday, mom's men take me in our house again. And she said to get ready to my upcoming flight. I didn't pack my things because I am not sure of my decision.

I went to kitchen to get some foods to ease my stress.  I got fresh milk and a cookies. Cookies looked cute in jar. Umaapow ang cookies doon, kaya kinuha ko 'yon at dinadala sa sala at doon kumain.

Habang kumakain ako, binuksan ko ang TV. Nilipat ko sa channel ng cartoon to entertain my head. Tumayo ulit ako, sabay nang paghulog ng cellphone ko. Screen open and I saw our picture together.

Tumakbo ako paakyat ng may na naisip ako. Pumunta ako sa library at kumuha ng kailanga ko. I went to my room also to took some of our pictures and his picture. Nag mamadali akong bumaba at inilagay ang nakuhang gamit sa center table ng sala.

I place cookies on tupperware. I wash the jar and dry it.   Inilagay ko ang garapon sa gilid. I grab paper and one picture.

It was Zac, he's sleeping after he studied. I took a photo of him cuz he so cute. I sadly smiled.

You looked cute here, isn't it? This is our frist time to study together but you fell asleep because you are tired. I let you sleep for 5 minutes, but it took 1 hour. I tried to focus and study but I got distracted becuse of your cute face. Your lips slightly open and you are creating sounds.

Tinupi ko ang papel sa apat. I grab double sided tape and paste it on the back of picture. I picked picture again. I automatically smiled because I picked our picture together.

We are looked good together, Zac. Look, everyone would say that we love each other. 'cause we do. The sparks on our eyes, our sweet smile in each other. I wish we could be together... but fate isn't our side, babe. Don't worry, if fate doesn't want us together, I will— we will fight fate.

I wiped my tears. I smile sadly and fold the paper and paste it on the back of picture. Habang ginagawa ko ito, hindi ko maiwasang masaktan.

Cause my action says my decision. My heart wanted to stay and be with Zac. Kahit pa may mangyaring masama. How selfish I am? But my head saying leave Zac for his safety. I'm so torn...

Mas lalo pa akong naiyak nang makita ko ang picture naming lahat nila Karyll. We are all smiling at the picture. How can I leave them? They are my family too...

They not wanted me to be alone. Pinaramdam nila ulit sa'kin na may pamilya ako. Sila yung dahilan kung bakit ako masaya dito sa Pilipinas kahit wala ang kapatid ko...

While writing my tears doesn't stop. I tried to wipe them but they keep on falling.

What a wonderful family you have. I admire your family, you're so lucky to have them. And I am so lucky to have  them, also. I'm thankful because I felt loved again, I felt a have family again. Thank you, I always thankful to meet awesome and generous people like you.

I put my palms in my face. I cried hard. Ang akala ko masakit yung pagiwan ko kila Andre at sumama kay Mommy. May mas sasakit pa pala.

Pinilit kong magsulat kahit na nginig ang kamay ko. Nanaghihina ang mga kamay ko pero pursigido akong matapos ang nasimulan na.