i cheated

Chapter 13

Your POV

"I still kinda thought you'd do something. It was a real shitty thing to do." I said.

"You got that right." I couldn't keep a fake smile anymore. "Sorry." He said.

"No don't worry. I deserved it." I said bringing it back trying to give him a small laugh.

I wish I could say the silence in the room wasn't deafening but I won't lie to you. It was.

I was sitting on the stool and he was standing on the other side in front of the fridge. We were both just staring at each other and in this moment some part of me wished I didn't invite him into my house, because I knew things were gonna be awkward after this.

But we were both sitting there and it just happened.

It was from the both of us.

We kissed each other.

God I missed this.

It was just how I remembered.

But I can't... I pushed him away.

"Wait!" I yelled in a panic. I ended up in too much of a panic and stumbled off of the stool. I just had to fall on my broken arm.

"[Y/N]? Are you ok?" He asked coming to help me up. I ignored his help and stood up against the wall.

"We can't. That should not have happened." I said quickly.

"Why not?"

"What do you mean why not?"

"Why not?" He repeated again but sternly.

"Because. Johnny we just can't."

"I'm still waiting for a valid reason." He said with a smirk.

"Because what if it gets further and something happens between us again. Johnny I can't bare to go through that pain all over again. I mean look at us. We both changed and for the better. I'm not that nasty rebel anymore. And you aren't the shy kid you used to be. You're how you were before you got jumped. And isn't this what we wanted?"

"I mean, yeah. But now that we changed what if we try again? I know you. I know you well enough to know that after what happened with Dallas changed you. When we first got together I knew the type of person you were. I knew I was bound to get hurt when I first asked you to the dance."

He paused. "I knew that when Dallas, Ponyboy, and I followed you down that street at the middle of the night one of us were gonna get freaked out by you. I knew that when you saw Brent at the stage something happened between you guys which made you who you are. I knew you weren't ever gonna let something hurt you when I saw you half dead in the woods. I know you better than anyone, [Y/N]."

I smiled at all the stories we had together. "We really went through a lot." I said with a small grin.

"We did. And I was there through all of it. Even if sometimes I didn't want to. So what do you say."

He really left me speechless. "You know I want to-" He cut me off.

"So why are you stopping yourself?"

"I have no doubt in my mind that you know more about me than anyone else. Myself included. But what if you're wrong."

"Well, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. But I mean... when was I wrong?" I thought for a few seconds. "Exactly." He said.

"I didn't even get to finish my thoughts." I said snarkily.

"I don't care. And you control yourself. So if you really care, I know you'll make it last." He took a break. "If you don't want to that's fine. I'll wait. I'll wait as long as it takes. But I missed you more than anything. I wanted nothing but for you to come back. I had so many questions and I wanted to know where we went wrong. But I know you. I know why you did it. It's just who you were. Like I said, I knew from the beginning. But now you've changed. It's all up to you now, [Y/N]. Yes or no?"