I paid a virgin

Chapter 26

Chapter twenty six

Confession in the closet

The closet opened and lights flooded the inside of it, revealing me in there with my mouth slightly open and my eyes blurring as the tears began filling it. My breathing heaving, my heart thumping like a wild animal ready to spring away from its hunter, my stomach flipping in uneasiness at the sight of him there watching me into pieces, my hands trembling in anger and hurt, and my sobs coming dangerously to a high pitch. Thoughts going in every direction of possible reasons why this jerk just lied that he had no girlfriend when in fact he had one and is hiding in his humungous closet, and what the hell is he doing hiding me here when I can personally meet his parents especially his father he reluctantly didn’t want to discuss any further!

His forehead creasing into worries as he reads all the conflict emotions twitching in my face now, because he was the one who had caused it. If he wasn’t a coward he could have had the nerve to not hide me here and the denying statement wouldn’t be coming from his mouth..

Slowly, he crouches looking at me with guilt now as he probably remembered the hurtful words he had just dropped while I eavesdrop. His hand stretches to touch me but I flex my knees back to my body, glaring at him. My lips were pressed tight; I was afraid the words building in my mouth to snarl ferociously at this guy watching me carefully.

I’m done. We are done. I am done with him!

I can’t afford spending time with a guy who can’t even care to explain everything about us to his parents. I will not go deeper with him now because I know I will end up hurting in the end. It’s already hard to take the pain after his denial, how much more if I was sweep deeper with him and my feelings getting too much attach with him? It’s better to end now while the pain still manageable.

He isn’t my soldier I can look forward to defend me, in contrary he is a hurt-bomb ready to erupt whenever a stimuli prick his dormant behavior. There’s no way I’m staying beside him when he couldn’t even stay with me all throughout. Where is the compromise there when I know this relationship is a lose-lose situation for me?

I know sometimes life is unfair but would a person really be selfless enough to keep that circle going on? Go for the hurt at least you enjoyed the limited time you had for a while? Really? Some people might want that but not me. I have more things to ponder with my family and I didn’t want one hurt incapacitating me. They needed more whereas for him he doesn’t really need me. He had everything and he can get a girl whenever he wanted; so his recovery period of me calling us quits is maybe sooner.

I took off his t-shirt and started putting on my own dress while he watches what I am doing. I removed his boxers and threw it on the floor. I put my pants and locked my belt.

“I’m going home” I mumbled lifelessly, avoiding his scrutiny.

“You can’t my parents are down-”

“I’ll pretend that I am just here as your bed toy after all you don’t have a girlfriend Trench” I gritted, my inside was screaming all the bottled up anger and bombarded him with it.

He ran a trembling hand along his hair still thinking probably a reason why he said that to his father. “You knew you are more than a toy, Sum-”

 “But you clearly don’t mean it!” I snapped, my eyes full of accusation as I glare at him. “We are done. I can’t be with you anymore clearly you can’t even tell about us to your parents; you’ve chosen this for yourself, selfish that’s what you are! I’m going home and be selfish too. My family needed me Trench and I can’t afford for the hurt to come crushing me and to do that it’s more appropriate and necessary to end this now.” I took off the bracelet he gave me and threw it on the ground. I tried walking pass him but a firm gripped that will somehow snapped my wrist in second didn’t allow me. I glared at him for stopping me.