aligned • monsta x

f o r t y e i g h t

•

"you deserve to know the truth before i can say anything else."

"what true?" at this point he was starting to feel the anger building up inside.

"jooheon... everything negative that you think that happened in your life, it hadn't been your fault."

he looked at her confused, anticipating the next words. somehow words that he acknowledged inside him, but never dared to accept.

"what are you saying?"

the embarrassment was real in boki's face. at this point, saying it out loud hurt like hell. even when she found out back then, she couldn't believe what kihyun confessed to her.

"all the things that you thought were your fault, like getting fired from your jobs, expelled from college and your high school, every single thing that happened in your life... it's his work. everything has been his doing." the betrayal in jooheon's eyes broke boki's heart.

he withdrew his hand from hers as he took a step backwards. boki noticed how his eyes filled with tears. he was clearly hurt.

he knew kihyun was bad, but he never thought he would go to these lenghts to hurt him. 

"i tried to stop him... i talked him out of everything and he promised he'd stop but he didn't. i promise jooheon... i told him that the things he had done were wrong, that he couldn't keep doing these things to you, even if he didn't like you, he couldnt' keep screwing your life like this. but- she noticed his face had changed now. he was hurt at first but now, she just noticed he was dissappointed.

full dissappointment. 

she felt her cheeks wet now, she had started crying, she didn't know when it happened. but it felt like hurting inside her chest. 

boki didn't want to lose jooheon's presence in her life but she knew this was bad. "jooheon?"

he blinked through the tears. "you knew about this?"

she knew he'd feel hurt about this. she just nodded. "i did, but only for a while. i didn't know from the start... you've got to believe me. i really tried to stop him but he didn't- i- please... don't hate me, i like you-

jooheon's eyes widened at the sudden revelation, that somehow hurt now even more. he never expected she'd confess such thing in the middle of such depresive conversation.

"don't do that." he walked away but she followed him, grabbing his arm.

"no, you have to listen to me, we broke up- i don't want to be with him anymore... i like you, i want to be with you, please-

"stop boki! stop now... how can you tell me this after confessing such thing? you were practically his accomplice... i can't believe you." he said withdrewing his hands from her, walking away. 

boki stayed there alone, crying as she watched him debating with his own feelings. "i..." he started but quickly shut himself up. 

"i need time to think..." he finally said looking into her eyes. she realized he was serious, unlike his usual self. she recognized when he was being serious.

boki knew it was better to respect his wishes and almost immediately regretted confessing that she liked him after releasing such bomb on him. 

but just the thought of losing him really killed her. she thought that maybe if she confessed she liked him he'd have some kind of consideration but he was hurt and she understood him. it had been a mistake.