Hearing my words

Chapter 12

Sanem is waiting to meet Emir's son, he had arrived home late last night.  She is excited and nervous at the same time. If he likes her book, then he might want to help her get it published or know someone who might. She thought about how this trip could possibly change her life. She missed her parents and sister, even missed everyone at the agency. Her heart was healing and she felt stronger than she had in a while but she still had to make her dreams come true. She could no longer rely on Can or anyone else. She could only depend on herself to make that happen.

Last night she had spoke to Ayhan who said Muzzo was right, Can had nearly lost it when he found out she was by herself and moving to a new town. He questioned Ayhan who told him, that she didn't know about her plan until they were on their way to meet Osman. 

He kept asking her where they had been, that maybe he could get in touch with their old landlord and he might know where Sanem was. She said I looked him in the eye and told him I wasn't going to tell him that, that he didn't deserve to know and  that if she had  wanted him to know that information than she would have told him and then she walked off. Sanem was so proud of her. 

She thought about their conversation again. She didn't know if she was ready to talk to Can but he had once been her life, her only. The man she breathed for. He was and probably would be her one true love, she knew she would never love again. But, he was also the man who had hurt her, had broken her heart, told her she was just like everyone else to him, the other. Those words alone were the reason she had walked away, the reason she wasn't ready to return, the reason she was afraid to see him again because she didn't know if she would survive seeing him look at her like  she was just like everyone else.

She picked up the burner phone and stared at it for the longest time, unsure what to do. Her Anne told her to believe in her heart but to use her head. Well, her head and heart were in a constant battle.

She knew he would be at the agency right now, maybe this was the best time to call because she would probably get his voice mail. Yes, maybe it would  be better for her to leave a voice mail. She could tell him she was ok and let him know she would call him when she was ready to talk. She dialed his number, it rang one time, just one time and he answered.

"Hello"

"Gunaydin, Can."

" Wait, I am in a meeting let me walk out." she heard him say to someone else "I need to take this call I will be right back." she heard a door open and then he was back on the line "Sanem? Is this really you?"

"Evet, I just wanted to tell you not to worry about me. Ayhan said you were upset about my being alone but I am perfectly safe."

"Can we talk?"

"Aren't you in a meeting?"

"Deren can handle the meeting, I was looking for a reason to get out of it anyway. We are meeting with Compass Sports and Ceyda is starting to bother me."

"Well, you know how she" she stopped

"What, how she is what? he asked.

"It doesn't matter. I just heard her tell you she would be waiting for you, maybe she isn't wanting to waste her time."

"She is very aggressive and forward. I can't stand to be in the room with her, I am trying to remain pleasant but I am done with it. Deren can take the rings on this one." Sanem laughed, he was so grateful to hear that sound. "Just let's talk, please. I would love to see you but if the phone is better for you then I will do as you ."

"I don't know Can. I don't know if I am ready or if you are even willing to actually listen to me."

"Ah, Sanem, I made a major mistake, I knew I was wrong when you walked away. Please tell me that we can talk, if not tonight then soon."

"I don't know, you said some cruel things to me, things someone who loved me shouldn't say. I will think about it and I will call you when I am ready."

"I am a stupid, guarded man. I let my insecurities rule my mind and my words but my heart wants us together, I don't care what time it is, when you are ready I will be ready to listen and beg you for forgiveness. I will wait for you as long as you need me to."

"I need to go Can. I will call." she said and hung up the phone. She leaned back in her chair, even his voice made her want him but she couldn't go back to the way things were. She needed to do what she started out to do, get her book published, then maybe, just maybe she could talk to him.

Can sagged against the wall as the conference room door opened  and Deren walked out.

"Can, Ceyda is wanting to ask you a few questions about your campaign ideas." 

He started to walk off and turned "Tell her the campaign is yours to work. That you have the lead on this one." he turned and walked away, happier then he had been in a long while.