Hearing my words

Chapter 21

Mirhiban had text Sanem that she was running late and would be there as soon as possible. Sanem sat looking out the window, deep in thought about Can and what all they had been through. She knew he was trying to make up for all the bad that he had been involved with. Heck, she had been part of the problem also. But she couldn't help thinking that as soon as they got back into the real world things might change.

He had talked to her about Ceyda and she knew, had always known that Can was not interested in the other woman but Huma was still trying to put them together. Even though had always let Ceyda flirt with him, he had never crossed the line. But, shouldn't there have been a line that was crossed with all the flirting and allowing other women to think they could just push her out of the way. There should have been a point where Can didn't let these other women treat her like the dirt beneath their feet. 

Can had said Polen had left that night from the hut and went back to London the next day. Did he lead her on? He says he told her the truth, had broken up with her and that she came on her own but still, he allowed her to stay at his house. When Sanem thought he should have told her to stay in a hotel, friend or no fried. Of course. he could always say that she was the one who wanted to keep thigs secret not him. He would have told the world he loved her.

 He said that Polen  had only called him one time and that was to tell him to please tell Huma to leave her alone, that the two of them would never be together and she did have some self respect left. 

But, what would happen when another woman came into the picture, either through work or the community, would Can be attracted to them, would Can feel that it would be easier to love someone else, would Huma ever leave them alone? Would he ever tell another woman that she was acting inappropriately, that Sanem was his girlfriend. So many questions. Yes, she knew either she took a chance or she didn't, the issue was she had a safe place in Kas, somewhere to go and get away from everyone, a place that no one knew about, where no one could find her, kind of like how the mountain hut had been for Can. She knew even if she went back to Istanbul and had an apartment of her own, her parents, Huma, even Can would not let her have her peace, they would all know about the apartment and she would need to leave Istanbul to find peace again. 

She could always keep the place in Kas but it was so far away, a weekend trip just wouldn't be possible because she wanted to work again, even though she had all the money she needed now. She laughed she had paid Osman back with interest and gave her parents some money to help ease their minds. They had argued with her but she had explained she had all the money she would ever need. Yet, she wanted to work, had always been a working girl.

She was still looking out the window, when she finally heard Mirhiban.

"Well, from the look on your face, there are some serious thoughts going through that pretty mind of yours."

Sanem laughed, "Evet, I am trying to figure out how I can move back to Istanbul and still have my freedom and peace."

"Let's have lunch and then we will discuss this. I believe I can help you there." 

The two ordered lunch and talked about what all had been going on in their lives. Mihriban telling her about her farm, estate. Sanem telling her about the book tour and now needing to write a second book. She threw the idea off Mihriban about writing, about leaving Istanbul and finding her place by the sea. The people she had met. Mihriban told the young girl that was the story she should write. It would be a story of what happened after she left Can. 

Insightful as ever, Mihriban took Sanem's hand "Sweetheart, it is ok to love Can and not be able to live with him. But the question is can you live without him?"

"I don't know! That is what I was thinking about, so many people interfered in our lives, we had the mountain hut until I ruined that by taking Polen there. I have Kas now to get away but that is so far away." she stopped with tears in her eyes "I am not sure I know how to live with or without him and still be able to care for me."

"What if you had a place closer to Istanbul?"

"What do you mean? A place I could go without telling someone where I was?"

"Evet, close to Istanbul but not in town or by the mahalla."

"That would be heaven. I would still have to have a place in town so my parents knew where I was and when I wanted alone time I could just go to my secret place."

"That is what I am thinking."