This Can't Be The End

Chapter 18

School sucks, my English teacher Ms.Traut had given us a pop quiz today, I probably failed.

But oh well.

Oh more importantly Ryver has been ignoring me.

He only talks to me when he has to like yesterday in Chemistry, when he had to use one of the supplies the teachers gave us to do our experiments, so in conclusion he is most definitely ignoring me.

So right now I'm back in chemistry, sitting next to Ryver, he's on his phone, of course not bothering to mutter a word to me, and since Mr.Penn is out of class right now I debate what to do or more so say what to say to Ryver.

What do I say without embarrassing myself.

"Do you hate me?" I blurt, without thinking.

Wow, so smooth, what happened thinking before speaking. Huh?

He looks up from his phone screen. Damn it he heard me.

Of course he heard me! I wasn't quiet when saying it.

"No Ensleey I don't hate you." He says in a monotone voice, only registering my presence for a minute then going back to his phone.

"O-okay." I say, trying to think of what I can say that won't embarrass myself further.

"Why would you think that?" He sighs looking up from his phone once more, as if it's the most difficult thing he's had to do.

"Well you've been ignoring me..." I trail off, feeling stupid for even trying to start up a conversation.

"What do you want me to say to you?"

"I don't know anything." I say drawing shapes on my desk that lies in front of me.

"Why were you getting drunk at that college party?" Is what he decides to ask.

Crap, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

"Ugh-Um-"

"Have I ever actually known or did you just lie?" He interrogates me further.

"Of course you know me." I say finally getting the courage to look up at him, and I see his eyes are focused intensely on me.

"It doesn't feel like it."

I suddenly wish Mr.Penn would come back.

As if the universe had seen my question Mr.Penn walks back into the classroom seconds later.

"Can we talk after class?" I ask, when Mr.Penn walks back into the classroom.

He nods, and I'm wondering how I'm going to tell him, even if it's just a snippet of the truth, or should I lie?

No, that would cause more problems.

Sadly we have lunch afterwards so it's not like I can back out by telling a lie.

I feel my heartbeat pick up when the sound of the bell can be heard.

Ryver grabs his bag and stares at me. He nods his head toward the door, as in telling me to follow him, so I do.

I try to rid myself of the idea, even if I want this I can't, he doesn't need the baggage that is my so-called life.

We walk out of the class, Justin stops him for second, they chitchat quietly and then Ryver grabs my wrist leading me through the mass, of bustling students, we go to the back of the school-where we kissed last time-he leans on the brick wall crossing his arms over his broad chest, looking at me, no doubt waiting for me to say something.