This Can't Be The End

Chapter 59

I don't make it home in one piece.

Technically I had.

Though that's only logically, inside my soul has been burned, my heart fully ripped out after the last few seconds with the boy, who never wanted it, but is stuck with it.

Some days I wonder how my life got so fucked up.

I went from a girl with two loving parents to being a burden to my aunt, I used to believe that at least there was a boy whose heart was mine.

That was a lie too.

There are days when I wonder how I am still in this world.

It seems to enjoy torturing me, I am here only to feel pain, every smile on my face, has hard consequences. I wonder why I try anymore.

Why do I try to believe the lie that there could be happiness for me, without there being sadness that seizes it away? I'm a bad apple that keeps stumbling, only interfering with other lives.

The only conclusion I can come up with is that I would be better off dead.

No.

Some part of me tells me, though I can't tell what warns me.

I'm too tired to care, so I drop to the floor, letting the pain be the control of me.

I'm numb, numb as if I can't feel anything at all.

I'm just a body, with a tortured soul, that is ripped and bruised. Too many scars, too many injuries, to keep going.

~~~*~~~

R y v e r s P O V

I stood frozen, Ensleey's not okay, she walked out of the school, her face had an expression I'd never seen on her face.

Why does one simple look jolt my heart? It's like a stab to my own heart, even if I wasn't the one with the pain.

I stay in the same spot for a moment more before Justin appears, seemingly out of breath.

What is going on today?

"You have to see Ensleey's locker," he says rushing the words.

"Why?" is all I can say.

"Just come on."

I follow him weary and worried.

When we get there is a crowd of people, some gawking while others taking pictures.

I finally manage to see why everyone seems to be interested in a locker of all things, and my heart nearly stops at the sight.

I immediately know the pictures aren't from now, it's odd how much I know about Ensleey.

I want to hate her, I'm sure she ran to the guy she actually wants.

Of course, I can't help the sinking feeling in my stomach, it's obvious the pictures are from at least a year ago. Ensleey is skinnier, and her hair is also shorter, but for someone who doesn't know her, that wouldn't be obvious in the slightest.

I go up to the locker and remove everything I can. I wish I had time to remove the nasty words, a part of me believes it would be best to try to check up on Ensleey more though.

I take the pictures to my car, so no one can take them out of the trash even if I rip them up, it won't be too hard for someone to find them. I try to call Ensleey three times when I realize that she won't answer. I stare at the small tattoo I wish I didn't have.

Why did I think it would be a good idea?

I call Jake after a while of not knowing what to do.

Calling her best friend seems like the best idea after all. He answers on the third ring, he used to let my calls go to voicemail. Progress.

"What?" There's the Jake I know.

"I don't know what to do," I say, my voice cracking a bit.

"What do you mean?" His voice turns concerned.

"Something happened with Ensleey." I say taking a deep breath, "I don't know what to do, I feel lost."

"Ryver..."

I know he's asking for more information, so I stutter what I can. "She hasn't answered the phone?" His voice sounds strained.

"No,"

"I-I want to ask you to do something, but tell me if you can't do it. Okay?"

"I'll do anything,"

"I want you to go to Ensleey's house, and if she doesn't open the door, I want you to have 911 prepared on your phone, there's a key in an envelope in the mailbox, it shouldn't be too hard to find, a-nd I want you to be careful."

"Jake-What do you mean be careful?" Now I'm more than worried.

"J-just g-go, we don't have time to talk about this right now, I'll be in the city soon."

He hangs up his voice unlike I have heard before, making my concern that is already bursting, much worse.

What could be going on, whatever Jake meant, he might be right we don't have time, so I sped out of the school parking lot with a racing mind and a worried heart.