This Can't Be The End

Chapter 47

Warning:   This chapter will include mentions of sexual abuse and topics that generally might be sensitive to some. 

Read at your own risk!!!

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When the door opens once more, I had planned to bolt, and definitely not let whoever it is on the other side be a distraction.

It doesn't go as planned, when does it ever?

But when my eyes finally take in the person at the door, I freeze.

My breath hitches.

And not in a good way.

I stare at the dead eyes of the man I used to love, used to consider my only, the only man I would ever love.

That's the catch about love, sometimes when you dive in headfirst turning a blind eye to every red flag that passes you by, you will consider yourself unable to leave, that they're the only person who will ever understand you.

Love changes you sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst, you can never see the outcome of the whole situation until it's too late, until you are wholeheartedly in love with the person.

When whatever chaos that are thrown your way seems easy to face, even if they are impossible.

How the hell had he gotten a hold of drugs so quickly?

"Already high I see," I say in a hesitant voice, wondering which version of him I'll get.

I can't get out, I'm sure of that, so the best option is to try to distract him and maybe by chance it will help with my escape.

From the icy way, his eyes bore into me, I can tell I'm not going to get the good one, I'm going to be presented with the devil version of him, the one he despised to be, but can't help but let it overshadow the other when he's had too much to drink, and too much is inhaled.

Though he did let him back in. Even though on a cold fall day, in what had been our favourite park, he'd told me everything including a promise...

"I don't want you to ever see me like that," He said to me as he tightened his hold on me.

"H-how bad had it gotten?" I asked, he had never opened up to me about this.

"Ens y-"

"No, I do want to know, it's in your past, I love you and want to know everything about you."

"You're so cute, and I love you too,"

He kissed me but not pushing too far, never too far, something I've always appreciated about him.

"You really want to know?" He finally said when I didn't fill the silence, his voice strained with worry.

"Yeah, I do but if you really-"

"No, I do but I've never said this out loud before,"

"Take your time," I said, then turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"First time I got drunk I was eight," he sighed like the words pained him, "my dad came back one day and I was sitting on what he called his couch instead of beating me, he forced me to drink from a bottle, now I know it's vodka I hated it but kept going

"By the time I was nine I think you could say I was addicted, I started doing coke with my dad, and who knows what other drugs, really my hold childhood is basically a blur from there,