This Can't Be The End

Chapter 1

I wake up to the sound of my alarm, I grab my phone and immediately turn off the defying sound.

Why does it have to be so damn loud?

I groggily get up from my bed and head over to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth.

Today is my first of my senior year. So I'm glad that I'm sober and got good nights rest, surprisingly I fell asleep  at some point.

I go over to my closet and decide to wear a yellow long sleeve top, with denim jeans that are ripped at the knees. I look at myself in the mirror.

Not too bad.

When I go down the stairs I smell pancakes, why do I smell pancakes?

Aunt Lilly. She's here.

"Good Morning." She says in her regular chirppy voice.

"Don't you have work?" I ask, staring at the pan as she flips one of the pancakes.

No matter how much I love her presence. I know she doesn't have time to be at home most days. Considering she's a flight attendant, though it would be a lie to say that I don't enjoy her presence, it's much better than being home alone all the time.

Even after two years of living here with her, it still is hard to grasp how I ended up living with her.

"Still have an hour." She says preparing me a plate of her delicious home made pancakes. I've always loved her cooking. "So are you excited about your first day of senior year?"

I shrug "I guess." She gives me a worried glance. "Im serious, everything's fine."

She nodded though I knew she was still worried. I wasn't lying things have been better.

We talked a little more and I found out that she's going to be gone for twelve days. Which isn't new since sometimes she's gone for a little over month.

*~*~*~*

I walk into school, and begin walking straight to my locker, nothing changed since last year. Everything's still the same, as Im putting some of my books in my locker.

I hear two voices, which I recognize, Sarah and Leah they were my best friends, but decided to stop talking to me because, as they put it I changed, which was no lie, but it's not like their betrayal made it any easier, it just made my depression and anxiety worse.

Looking back at it I'm glad they ditched me I might have practically have been a loner, got into some messed up shit. Done things that I will always regret.

But at least now I have four amazing friends. Who've had their own list of regrets, though the one thing I know for sure is that, behind their tough exterior that everyone picks them for. They'd always be there. No matter what, I guess that is what  real friends are.

So I don't even try to look at them, maybe I would've last year but not this time. As per doctor Paige has said don't look back, focus on the present. Which is something that I have been focusing on.

Luckily in chemistry I find two unoccupied seats, which I'm relieved about. I like sitting alone, it's better then sitting next to someone, I don't ever talk to.

About half way through class, I realize our teacher Mr.Penn isn't too bad, his class isn't as boring, as is I suspected to be, then again todays only the day.

Then the door opens, revealing a boy I've heard a few rumours of, not that I believe them, being the schools star quarterback, I already know his name is Ryver Webb,

Most girls in this school have huge a crush on him, almost everyone you can say, there a few like me who don't see the appeal.

To me he's just annoying guy, who happens to be on the football team. I've never actually spoken to him, but everyone knows him. I won't lie he is attractive, with his brooding shoulders, abs, green eyes, and messy brown hair.

Expect, I don't see the appeal of liking someone, you know nothing about, only seeing how they look.

How do you know that they aren't just pretty on the outside and heartless on the inside?

I have personally learned my lesson that not all people who have great looks, and charming personality, have a caring heart.

Mr.Penn tells him to take a seat, and why is he getting closer to my desk?

Crap there's only one seat left, and of course i'm so lucky its next to me. Yay a cocky arrogant boy is going to sit next to me.

Note the sarcasm?

Okay maybe he isn't an asshole or cocky or arrogant, but from everything I've heard one would assume as such.

"Hey I'm Ryver." He says after a few minutes. I keep my gaze to the board, but notice from the corner of my eye, him raking his fingers through his dark brown hair. I don't reply.

Why?

Because I don't want to. It takes too much effort, and I don't want to have an anxiety attack, Im not good at talking to people, like right now for instance, I can't find something to say, I could say my name, but my throats dry, just from thinking about it.

"Did you hear me?" He says, I realize his voice is really deep.

"Yes." I say, I don't feel like socializing. So why should i?

"Okay." He says.

I'm relieved when he doesn't attempt to talk to me again.

I should have probably said something other then yes, oh well too late now.