This Can't Be The End

Chapter 56

I need a drink, a pill, anything to erase the feeling deep within, I want to go to a place that's foggy, hard to remember, and definitely not here.

Justin is frozen beside me, probably not expecting Kiara to be there, he was upstairs waiting for me after all.

I look around the room trying to calm myself down.

Suddenly Ryver is beside me, I am not focusing, what I do notice is the bottle next to someone I assume is a jock.

"Can I have this for a sec?" I ask the guy, and he chuckles, most likely thinking what can this chick do?

A lot of damage if I don't have the familiar high.

"Ensleey," I hear Ryver slur.

Yep, he's definitely high.

"Go ahead, I think it's a little heavy for you," he says with a smirk, but the bottle is now in my hands so why should I care?

I chug down a good chunk before sighing the guy's eyes wide as I take yet another swig, am I being dumb?

Yes, I'll regret it when I'm not on the verge of panic.

With one more long sip, the bottle being halfway through now I hand it back, "thanks," I say his eyes still staring me down with surprise.

I walk away without looking back.

Feeling embarrassed and still painfully sober.

What the hell was I thinking?

*~*~*~*

R y v e r s P O V

I realize somewhat too late that I shouldn't have been smoking, though I hadn't done it in a long time so what is the big deal?

A lot actually, Kiara and some other cheerleaders were here, I didn't want her touching me though I didn't feel like putting up a fight again.

I realized something was off when Justin disappeared, and then Ensleey showed up.

The first thing I noticed was the look of hurt. I wanted to tell her that it wasn't what it looked like, but hadn't she said similar words when I got the video?

I got up when I noticed the familiar look of panic on her face, which seemed more sullen than I remember but I am out of it, so who knows.

I didn't expect her to chug down half a bottle of Deep Eddy that the guys love since it's so damn cheap as they put it, the shit is nasty, so clearly this wasn't her first rodeo.

Everyone held stares, except Kiara, another thing I have no time to dwell on.

I give Justin a harsh glare, he stands off looking at the stairs with confusion.

Instead I go after the girl I still helplessly love.

She is halfway to the car, and everything is blurry, though I manage to make it to the passenger side door in one piece.

"Get out," is what she says when she sees me, then leans over to the dashboard and takes out a water bottle.

She takes leisurely sips of it until it's almost gone.

I don't think it's water in there.

Great now there's now two people under the influence.

"Well?" she says a few minutes later, staring at me with eyes that are vague and distant.

I hate it.

"I'm not going, you're drunk, I'm high you know?" I want to cringe at my own words. I doubt I make much sense. "I-I wasn't going to touch her Ensleey, cross my heart hope to fly."

"What?" she says with a small snort that makes me smile like a fool.

"I don't know, really I don't but I do feel like I'm flying," I start to laugh.

This is insane. I'm sitting in a car with my ex, who's on the way to be drunk too.

She stares at me intensely, I'm tempted to lean over and press my lips to her plum ones, I never want to admit how I fucking miss it all more than anything.

Instead, I transfix my sight on the window, still not willing to leave, even if I should.

I turned around to get another glance and saw something she clearly was trying to hide.

Two pills in her hand, she swallows the two she no doubt currently has in her mouth before popping the other two after them.

"What the hell?" Is all I think to say.

She doesn't say anything and I don't add anything.

We sit in silence. I don't look at her and she doesn't look at me.

"Ryver?" her delicate voice echoes in the car, I look over to her once again, her eyes still hollow, but now have the shine of red, what pills had she taken?

Before I can think of the question, she's leaning over the counsellor, her lips coming onto mine, like a guy who misses the girl he hates loving. I let her.

Her moan of satisfaction makes my dick throb. I want to push her away, but the many hits of weed control me more, I pull her onto my lap.

We are two desperate animals right now, controlled by the effects of substances we both shouldn't be taking.

The only thing I can think about is having her again, I'm carnal and desperate for a taste.

So I take what I can.

My hands roamed over her body feeling her stomach through the fabric of her shirt, "I need to be inside you,"

The words I say are traitors, I shouldn't be asking the girl who shattered me to be inside her.

"Okay- but not here." even with her lips still seeking mine for a kiss.

"My place, it's closer?" my words seem to be in slow motion another reminder that I am high.

She nods, neither of us should be driving but my house is only five minutes away, so we should be good.

And we are, my parents don't hear my shaky hands as I fumble with my keys. In no time we're in, making it up the steps quietly with barely any sound not even the ones of our hands touching and bringing our bodies closer.

Before long she's on my bed naked and needy, just as I am.

How could I have given up this beautiful woman?

She cheated my subconscious, reminds me.

"Ryver," her voice brings me out of the truth.

She sucks on my neck, her legs wrapping around my waist bringing me closer to her and I can feel all of her in a way I have secretly dreamed of having once again. Her hands can't get enough of my body and I'm the same with her.

I ignore reality and enjoy the Ensleey Hendrix who's here because in the morning I will most likely regret this.

- _-_

I apologize for my absence with this story, I plan to get back into it every time. But life has been interesting.

For everyone still here, thank you for reading!!