The Sun and Her Moon | CHONI |

Forty Three

Toni followed the nurse wheeling Veronica to the brunettes hospital room. 'When will we know if she's okay?' Toni asked the nurse frantically. 'I'm sorry are you a relative?' the nurse asked. 'I'm... Erm... I'm'. 'She's Cheryl's partner' Veronica interrupted. 'Okay' the nurse nodded in understanding 'as soon as I know anything I'll be back'. The nurse left them alone, both Veronica and Toni in tears. 'This is so fucked' Toni ran her hands through her hair as she paced the hospital room. 'What am I going to do without her, we've been together our whole life' Veronicas voice cracked causing Toni to stop her pacing. Toni knelt in front of the crying brunette pulling her into a hug 'she'll pull through, she's strong'. Toni wasn't religious but she prayed that someone, something would bring Cheryl back to her.

After what felt like forever the same nurse came back into the room, Toni jumped up while Veronicas eyes widen with anticipation. 'So we've managed to stabilise her for now' the nurse stated 'but her body will probably not handle her heart stopping again, unfortunately a number of her ribs have cracked while we resuscitated her but her heart is beating again'. Toni let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding 'can we see her?'. 'Yes' the nurse nodded 'but Ms Lodge we should get you back into bed. You need to rest'. Veronica just nodded, Toni hugged her before following the nurse back to Cheryl's room. The nurse stopped outside the door 'talk to her, sometimes it helps' she placed a reassuring hand on Toni's shoulder before walking away.

Toni pushed open the door for the second time today feeling absolutely devastated. She stepped over to Cheryl's bed again, she looked smaller than Toni had ever seen her. She wiped her tears as she took Cheryl's hand in hers and sat down thinking of all the things she wanted to say but not knowing where to start. 'Cheryl, I hope you can hear me, I'm here for you and I love you. I'm so sorry for not trusting you or listening to you, I let the way I had been treated in the past affect my relationship with you. I hope you can forgive me and when you wake up if you give me another chance I'll spend the rest of our life's making it up to you... just please don't leave me, I need you baby'. Toni didn't think she'd ever felt such a deep sadness, she just sat there holding Cheryl's hand hoping she'd wake up, but she didn't.

Toni didn't realise she had fell asleep in the chair until a nurse was shaking her awake. 'I'm sorry to disturb you Ms...' 'Topaz but just call me Toni'. 'I'm sorry to disturb you Toni but there's someone asking for you, your brother?'. Toni just nodded 'if it's okay could you send him in, I want to be here when Cheryl wakes up'. The nurse just looked at her sadly 'of course'. She hoped one of her brothers had the sense to stay at home and look after Tommy, she didn't want him to see Cheryl like this, it would scare him, he didn't need to know what was happening. She was pulled from her thoughts when her brother walked through the door. 'Oh my god Toni, what happened?'. He took a look over the redheads lifeless body and her unrecognisable face, he couldn't help the tear that slipped from his eye. He quickly wiped it away, he had to be there for his sister. 'Toni?' he said again. 'This is really bad Sweet, what am I going to do if she doesn't make it' her head ached from all the crying but she couldn't stop herself from it happening again. He quickly bent down pulling her against him 'she's strong Toni'. Toni cried against her brother, the machines beeping in the background constantly reminding her that they were the only thing keeping the redhead alive and breathing.

Toni pulled away after she had calmed herself down. 'Is Tommy okay?'. Sweet Pea pulled a chair next to Toni's from the corner of the room. 'He is, Fangs is keeping him busy but we wanted to check in with you, we didn't know what had happened' Sweet Pea said looking at his heartbroken sister. 'Can you make sure he doesn't find out, Tommy I mean. I don't want him worrying about her'. 'Of course T, whatever you want'. 'Could you keep an eye on him for me too? I want to be here when she wakes up' Toni said looking at Cheryl's face. 'Whatever you need' he nodded. They didn't speak for a hours, there wasn't anything either of them could say to make this better. Sweet Pea just wanted to be there for his sister and for Cheryl.

'This is all my fault Sweet' Toni whispered. 'What? Toni of course its not' Sweet Pea said seriously. 'Veronica told me what happened, if I would have just given her the chance to explain she wouldn't be in this hospital bed fighting for her life right now' she spat, angry at herself. 'You know that's not true Toni, Cheryl wouldn't want you to blame yourself so please don't go down that hole'. 'Yeah well Cheryl didn't want me to leave her that day either but I did and now she might never know how much I love her and I may never get the chance to tell her'. Sweet Pea didn't know what to say he just held on to Toni's hand, he knew if he tried to talk her out of her self blame right now she would likely get angry. He would gladly let her take it out on him though if it made her feel even a little better but not here. Sweet Pea had gone to a vending machine to get some snacks and soda for his sister, if she was planning on staying here he at least wanted to know she could eat. 

Sweet Pea pushed open the door with his back, his hands filled with things for his sister including a coffee for them both right now. He placed everything down as carefully as he could on the nightstand before handing Toni her coffee. She accepted it with a quiet thank you as she just stared at Cheryl's chest rising up and down as the machine assisted her breathing. She promised herself she'd stay here as long as it took, until she knew Cheryl was going to be alright. Her mind moved to what Veronica had said earlier about Madison, she allowed that crazy bitch to manipulate her into ending her relationship with Cheryl, how could she have been so blind. If she ever saw her again she'd make her pay that was for sure, hopefully she had left the city like she was supposedly meant to. Toni had to try and put out the fire building up inside of her, she was a mother and Cheryl needed her here not locked away in a jail cell. 

'Toni are you sure you want to spend the night here? I can bring you back first thing in the morning' Sweet Pea asked as it got late. 'No, I'm staying but could you bring me some spare clothes tomorrow and my phone charger please?' Toni asked. 'Of course T, if you need anything else or if anything changes call me straight away okay?' he said standing up. 'Okay' she nodded as he pulled her against his chest in a tight hug. Toni pulled away first taking her seat again, afraid her legs wouldn't hold her up. 'See you tomorrow T' he gave her a small smile as he slipped out of the door. Toni wrapped her hand around Cheryl's again as she lent against the bed her eyes trying to replace Cheryl's swollen face with the features she so fondly remembered. Her small nose that Toni would place soft kisses on to make her smile, her dark eyes that she could spend every minute of every day getting lost in and her lips which were always painted in a deep red but she preferred them natural and swollen from their kisses in the middle of the night. She let out a sigh as she kissed the redheads pale hand before laying back against her chair.

When Sweet Pea got home Fangs was waiting anxiously on the couch to find out what was happening. Luckily Tommy had gone to bed without too much of a fight obviously exhausted from all the changes lately. Sweet Pea flopped against the couch as his brother waited for him to speak. 'This is really bad dude, like really bad' he sighed the image of Cheryl laid in the hospital bed popping into his mind. 'Are they okay?' Fangs questioned. 'Toni said that she had spoken to Veronica so I assume she's at least conscious but Cheryl man, she's in really bad shape' Sweet Pea said his eyes on the ground. 'How bad?' Fangs pushed. 'I think she's extremely lucky if she wakes up from this Fangs, looking at her laid in that bed was so heart breaking, it doesn't even look like her. If she doesn't make it I don't know what Toni is going to do'. 'Shit' Fangs said running his hands through his hair the sadness of what his brother had just told him settling in his chest. 'Toni said she's staying with Cheryl until she wakes up, I've told her we will look after Tommy but she doesn't want him to know what's happening so we're going to have to make something up for now'. 'Of course Sweet' Fangs nodded. Silence and sadness filled the room.