Ashens - Bucky x Reader

Abnormal

Empowered.

Ballsy.

You.

That how you felt the next few days after you had told Bucky how you felt. Putting your heart on the line had been a stark wake up call for you. It took a while for your emotions to settle down and for reality to sink in, but once it did, you thought:

Did I just fucking do that?

Had that been you the last month? Were you that dick-whipped by a guy you hardly knew? No. That hadn't been you. You were stronger than all of this. You were the girl who stood up to your parents at sixteen and told them you didn't want them to worry about putting their financial goods on you no matter how rich they were, because you were mature and strong enough to feed and clothes yourself. You didn't use your status or name as an advantage to get into the best college.

You were never ungrateful, just merely not dependent.

And most of all, you weren't some fragile girl who cried and fell to her knees for a man.

You wondered if maybe you were lying to yourself to make yourself feel better about being rejected, but you shoved that quickly away and instead started wondering if maybe you had been wrong about your feelings.

It was obvious you felt a carnal and emotional attraction towards Bucky, but it could've been naïve on your part to assume it was love. Possibly.

It's not like you even knew what romantic love felt like. Maybe it was just sexual. Maybe it was infatuation.

You'd think this would make you feel even smaller against him, but it made you feel strong. You had done something you never thought you would, and you had made yourself little and a fool in front of him. But not anymore. Now it was time for the real you and to heal.

It wasn't love. No. Whatever it was, you quickly worked on moving past it.

Gone was the belittled persona you subconsciously created.

His silence was comical as you strutted into the kitchen wearing nothing but your tank top and a small pair of pajama shorts.

You felt his eyes on you and it felt good.

His fork made a clink against his bowl as you opened the fridge. His eyes lingered on the back of your legs.

He had noticed how much you changed the last few days, like you had grown a backbone. He was wondering what kind of front you were putting up.

Whatever it was, it left him uneasy.

"Aren't you cold?" He grumbled, pushing his bowl away. There was a bite to his tone that made you want to roll your eyes.

"No." You bit back, grabbing a water bottle. You closed the fridge and continued your way out of the kitchen, not giving him even a second glance.

He clenched his teeth as his eyes followed you until you were out of view.

What were you doing?

"I have to get my outfit ready for our mission." You said as he followed you out into the dining area. There was no longer a timid hint in your tone, but authoritative. You reached over to grab the remote for AI that was on the beautiful glass table. The blue light of the screen bounces off of the table and back onto your face, making you glow in the room, "I need something good. Shouldn't be an issue with the cash Steve gave us."

He perked a brow.

"I don't think so."

The edges of your lips perked up as you gave him a quick glance.