The ultimate joke book

Did you ever wonder 2

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Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is not permitted there?

Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world without any hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how many packages say "OPEN HERE". What is the protocol if it says "OPEN SOMEWHERE ELSE"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but if you send it by ship it's called cargo?

You know the indestructible little black box that's found on airplanes.....why can't they make the airplane out of the same material?

Why is it when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

How can there be self-help *groups*?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does she automatically lose because she can't find herself?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the toilet?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

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