The 'mirror'
Girl: *stares at me for 30 sec*
Me: "What you looking at?"
Girl: " Idk, something ugly!"
Me: " BITCH, I ain't no mirror!"
Where is your house?
Police: Where do u live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With Me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbors house.
Police: Where is your neighbors house?
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.
Police: Tell Me!
Me: Next to my house.
Police: Yay
Nothing breaks me
Boy texted his dad saying
Boy:I got expelled
Dad: WHAT WHY
Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my bone but words will never hurt me
Dad: and
Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose
Dad : lol that's my boy
Jealous
Your ass must be jealous of all the shit coming out of your mouth.
No one cares
Teacher- " What do you call a person who talks about things no one cares about? "
You- " A teacher. "
Modern art
Woman: Is that one of those hideous things called modern art?
Man: No ma'am, that's a mirror.
Clean your room
Mom: Clean your room!
Me: Why?
Mom: Guests are coming over for dinner!
Me: Are we having dinner in MY room all of a sudden?
Theorm
Teacher: As you can see the legs, when squared equals the hypotenuse squared otherwise know as the Pythagorean Theorem
Douche Student: Hey sir, I got a theorem for you
Teacher:What is it?
Douche Student: Your mom's legs squared equals my dick squared
*Class Laughs*
Teacher: Is it really that small?
*Class becomes silent*
How fast were you going?
Cop: Sir Do You Know How Fast You Was Going?
Man: The Same Speed As You Officer
Cop: And How Is That?
Man: You Caught Up To Me Didn't You?
Who's mum?
* nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent *
Detention
Me: Mum i got a detention today
Mum: Why!
Me: Well the teacher pointed the ruler at me and said "at the end of this ruler is a idiot".
Mum: Yeah so
Me: I asked what end.
Did you do your homework?
Teacher- Did you do your homework?
Student - Did you grade my test?
Teacher - I have other students' tests to grade.
Student - I have other teachers' homework to do.
#LIKE A BOSS
Why are you talking?
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Science lesson
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Cactus
Nerd:why is ur family tree a cactus
Bully:why
Nerd:because everyone in it is a prick
Class:oooooooooooh!
If you liked these comebacks/situations then please comment me feedback and vote. Thank you for reading!
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The ultimate joke book
عشوائيHope you like the book, and please comment if you like it or if you have any feedback. Also please vote.
