The ultimate joke book

Funny short stories about school 2

My shout outs are for DessyReal, godlysuho, _my_secret_lover_, Run_AwayFromReality and RexKnight9.

Cheat

"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."

Hotline

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says his advisor, "in her biology class."

Water

Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Puzzeled

One day I went into school all puzzled and said to my teacher "Miss will i get into trouble for something i havent done ?"
She said "No why"
I said " Because I havent done my homework.

10th grade

At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students what was the most important thing that they learned in lab.
A student promptly raised his hand and said, "Never lick the spoon."

Newspaper

John wrote an article in the school paper about how this chemical, dihydrogenoxide, has killed over 100,000 people world wide, usually through inhalation.
The story also went on that even if you wash your food you can never get this chemical off.
No matter what you do you will be exposed to this very dangerous chemical every day of your life until you die.
The story finished by claiming that there needs to be a government research group founded to find a solution. yada yada yada
Anyway, the local newspaper reporter read this story in his daughters school paper and decided to do a follow up.
If you haven't figured it out di-hydrogen-oxide is the correct name for H2O or water.
The deaths that he was quoting were from drownings.
Anyhow, this reporter ran the article in a paper and started a local push for a government study before they realized what the story was about.

Late to school

A student comes late to school.
His teacher asked him "Why were you late to school?"
Student: "My mom and dad were fighting."
Teacher: "What does your parents fighting have to do with you being late for school?"
Student: "One of my shoes was in my mom's hand and the other one was in dad's hand.....

Do tou know who I am?

Boy: Your stupid!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'm the principals daughter.
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No.
Boy: Good. (walks away)

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