My shout outs are for africagazelle, SydneyP127, @Loace7, puufle and AnthSocioDossett.
PUPIL - "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
TEACHER - "Of course not."
PUPIL - "Good, because I haven't done my homework."
You smell
Person#1: Why do you smell funny?
Person#2: It's called Soap - didn't think you would have smelt it before.
Relatives
Wife - You hate my relatives!
Husband - No, I don't! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine.
Seen you?
Man - Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman - Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Drink?
Man - Can I buy you a drink?
Woman - I think I'd rather have the money!
Saturday night
Man - Will you go out with me this Saturday?
Woman - Sorry, I'm having a headache this weekend.
Seats
Man - Is this seat empty?
Woman - Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Living
Man - So what do you do for a living?
Woman - I'm a female impersonator.
Wanna dance
Man- Do you want to dance?
Woman- NO
Man- Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.
Overpaid
An employee approached his boss regarding a dispute on his pay-check...
Employee - Sir, this is $100 less than my salary.
Boss - I know. But last month, when you were overpaid $100, by mistake, you didn't complain!
Employee - Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake, sir, but it seems to be becoming a habit, now!
Dating
Man - "So do you want to go out maybe?"
Women - "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Thank you for reading please vote, comment and follow. I would really appreciate it.
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The ultimate joke book
RandomHope you like the book, and please comment if you like it or if you have any feedback. Also please vote.
