The ultimate joke book

Did you ever wonder 3?

My shout outs are for _xxNicole_xx, chocomonsterxox, exokgrxphic, gracenow and SnowAngel6197.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?

Why is FOOTball played by hand?

Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you always have to put your two cents in? Somebody is making a penny.

Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that the guy who comes up behind you while you're waiting for an elevator presses the already lit 'up' button -- as though he somehow has magical powers that you didn't when you pressed it the first time?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on 'Start'?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a 'near miss'? Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a-door?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

Why is the blackboard green?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?

Why is there never an answer to the most important questions in life?

Why is there no egg in eggplant, ham in hamburger, or apple and pine in pineapple?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why, at a bank, do they have the doors wide open, but the pens are chained to the desk?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

You know how most packages say 'Open here'. What is the protocol if the package says, 'Open somewhere else'?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

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