The Mercenary

Part 40- Feelings

I got back to the Quinjet and sat down, Wanda ran in a minute after me and took the seat next to me
Y/N- I'm not in the mood to talk
Wanda- that's okay, we can just sit here
I rested my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arm around me
I was feeling guilty. I wanted to kill Strucker and she knew it but yet she managed to stop me. I've never been someone to show mercy to a person who doesn't deserve it but I've changed.

Wanda POV-
Sonny was quiet the whole way home, she kept her head on my shoulder and stared into the distance. Some of the avengers tried to get her attention but she wasn't interested.
When we got back she headed straight to her room still without saying a word. I look towards Nat and signal her to follow me upstairs which she understands. We both go to Y/N's room and there's no sound.

Wanda- Hey, can we come in?
There's no answer so I open the door, Y/N is sat on the floor resting against her bed.
Y/N- I kissed Kate
Nat- We know and it's okay
Y/N- I'm sorry, I just thought you both should know
Wanda- why'd you kiss her?
Y/N- I feel like you hate me and Kate wanted me so I just feel into somewhere I didn't want to be
Wanda- I don't hate you, I could never hate you
Y/N- you should, I'm not a good person.
Nat- what's going on Y/N?
She just shakes her head and stands up getting into bed. She pulls the covers over her head and lays there.
Y/N- I want to be alone.
I take Nat's hand and we both leave Y/N. I didn't want to go but I knew it was the best thing for her.

Days have passed and Y/N has barely left her room. She wasn't talking to anyone and it was a struggle to get her to do anything. Something had happened and I wasn't sure what but I knew I couldn't leave her like this.
Wanda- it's time to get up
She just huffs and ignores me
Wanda- you've been in bed for 3 days so get up before I push you out of it
The covers move and she sits up
Y/N- what do you want?
Wanda- I want to know what's going on
Y/N- nothing, I'm fine
Wanda- oh yeah awesome, I didn't realise people who were fine spent all their time in bed not talking to anyone and not eating anything. Get up, we are going for a walk

Y/N POV-
I threw some clothes on and headed downstairs. Wanda was cooking breakfast whilst Nat watched, I couldn't see anybody else and I was glad, I wasn't in the mood to be annoyed.
Nat- hey darling, I'm glad to see you up
Y/N- not my choice
Wanda- here's your breakfast, sit down and eat

I knew I wasn't going to win this battle so I just did what she said, I wasn't going to argue because I knew I couldn't handle it.
Nat- we can head out for our walk once you've eaten that
I just nod at them, I can feel my emotions starting to take over but I try my best to push them back
I eat as much as I can before giving up, Nat runs her hand up and down my back
Nat- you did really well with that
Wanda- let's go

We walk for hours, I wasn't moving very quickly though. My body hurt and I was thinking too much that it made my head hurt as well. I've had enough so sit down on a bench and the girls sit either side of me. My emotions are running high and I couldn't hold them back any long, tears start rolling down my face and I feel Wanda take my hand
Y/N- I'm not okay
Wanda- we know Y/N but we are here whenever you need to talk about it
Y/N- I'm so angry at the world and when I'm not angry then I'm just sad
Nat- that's okay, we can help you
Wanda- this job is rough and we see things everyday that most people wish to never see in their lifetime
Y/N- I've done things that I should never have and what he made me do just drove me crazy, I was going to kill him
Nat- but you didn't, you've changed for the better
Wanda- you've become part of the family, none of us can live without you. It's so noticeable when you aren't right because it's quiet and we don't like it. We want you to feel like yourself and we want to help you. Please, just don't shut us out.

She was right, I needed them more than I realised and the only way I was going be happy was with their help.
Y/N- I wake up and I feel sad, I feel tired and I feel like the world hates me.
I start to cry even more and I just can't stop
Y/N- I'm sorry
Nat- you don't ever have to apologise for how you feel, you have a right to feel these things and it's okay to feel like you do.
Y/N- the thought of you both kept me going, knowing that you both care and love me was something I never expected when I joined but now it's something I take for granted. I'm sorry for being such an idiot to you both but I can't live without you guys, you give me a purpose and I need you both to see that you're the reason I'm going to get through this.
I can see both Natasha and Wanda are now crying
Y/N- we must look a right mess to anyone walking past
Wanda- let's get you home and we can watch some movies, yeah?
I offer them both my hand and I teleport back to the compound