Selenophile // Marauders

|64| Sorry, Fifth Year

Remus opened his eyes in the hospital wing. James was sitting on another bed, holding his arm.

"Wh— what happened?" he asked. "Something happened, didn't it? I remember a different smell, a stranger..."

"Moony—" James started but Remus cut him off.

"Your arm— did I do that?" Remus asked, horrified. "I— I'm—"

"No, it's fine, really. There's something else—" James said. "Snape— he came—"

"He what?" Remus stuttered. "And he saw me?"

"Yes," Riley said. "But you didn't hurt him, Prongs saved him."

"Well— where's Sirius?" asked Remus. The three looked at each other and Riley took a deep breath.

"Dumbledore made him swear not to tell anyone anything, so Snape won't tell anyone—" Riley tried to change the topic.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked again. "He wasn't there last night either," he said lowering his voice so that Madam Pomfrey couldn't hear him.

"Well— he—" James tried to find the right words.

"He's the one who told Snape to go to the Whomping Willow," Riley blurted it out. "But he didn't mean to hurt you, Remus—"

"He didn't mean to hurt me? That's rubbish!" Remus said angrily. "I could've hurt Snape... I could've killed him! It's dangerous— I'm dangerous..."

"Remus—" said Peter.

"I don't care if Snape knows... I could've hurt him. What would happen if I killed Snape?" Remus said. "What if he died? Sirius knows I'm scared of hurting people! He knows so fucking well—"

"Mr. Lupin— you should calm down," Madam Pomfrey said. "I'm sure Mr. Black will be punished."

Remus had new scars that day, a big one on his face and one on his shoulder. He hadn't gotten any new scars since the Marauders joined him on the full moons and now it bothered him. After Madam Pomfrey let him go, he rushed out of the hospital wing to the common room.

"Remus!" Peter shouted behind him and the three friends followed him. He entered the common room and walked to the boy's dormitory. He kicked the door and then as the others entered, they quickly closed the door.

Sirius was there, and he jumped as he saw Remus enter the dorm.

"Moony— I can explain—"

"Oh? You can explain the fact that you set up a fucking death trap for Snape, then?" Remus shouted loudly. He had tears in his eyes and he couldn't look at Sirius' face.

"I didn't expect him to actually go—"

"So you couldn't use your pea-sized brain and think of what would happen if he did go there? What if James didn't save him?" shouted Remus.

"He won't tell anyone, Dumbledore made him promise—"

"That's not the fucking issue!" said Remus as he finally looked up with his red eyes and the big new scar on his cheek. "The issue is that I could have hurt him! I could have killed him..."

"But you didn't—"

"Do you not know how I'm scared of hurting people while I'm a wolf? Do you not know this! Aren't you supposed to be my friend!"

"I am your friend!"

"Apparently not..." said Remus quieter.

"Remus— Moony— I'm so sorry—" Sirius said as he tried to get Remus to calm down.

"Sorry isn't good enough, Black!" said Remus. "It doesn't change anything!"

"It was just a prank! To get Snivelly back—"

"A prank... Alright, if that's what you think I think I should go before I punch you in the face..." Remus said as he turned around and took a step towards the door.

"I'm sorry, I really am, Remus, please—"

"How dare you?!" Remus said in fury, tears rolling down his face. He then opened the door but stopped as he saw someone he didn't expect. A red-haired girl, with green eyes, leaned against the door.

Lily jumped as the door opened, she saw Remus. She had heard everything, everything that had been said and shouted in that dormitory.

"Remus—" she said softly but Remus left the common room.

Riley followed Remus after he left the common room. He had gone to the lake, throwing rocks into the water angrily. He kept mumbling words to himself, he then threw a bugger rock into the water, causing the water to splash onto him.

"Remus—" Riley said softly as she went next to him.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "I need to be alone."

"So that you can drown yourself?" Riley said in seriousness.

"Maybe—"

"Remus."

"Lily knows. She heard me shouting from the dormitory..." he then said. "I reckon that Snape told her in a split second..."

"Lily hates him, she really does, believe me," Riley said. "She doesn't talk to him anymore."

"What if he tells someone else, someone like Mulciber or Avery..." Remus asked as he threw another rock. "Then I'm screwed... No parent would want their kid to go to school with a beast..."

"You are not a beast!"

"Oh yeah? I could've killed Snape... I am dangerous and I absolutely cannot control it..."

"That's why you're not a monster, you can't control it. And you never will be able to control it," Riley said.

"Don't you hate Snape?" Remus asked.

"I hate him, yes."

"Then why are you not agreeing with Sirius?"

"Look, if I had the chance to kill Snape and not get punished for it, I would. And if you were fine with hurting or killing people and you had killed Snape yesterday, it would be fine by me," Riley said laughingly.

"But I know you're sensitive about this. I know you're afraid of hurting people and I don't blame you for that. So what he did was wrong. What Sirius. planned was wrong. And I'm glad you didn't hurt anyone..."

"What about Lily?" asked Remus as he sat down on the grass.

"She won't tell anyone, it's Lily we're talking about..."