[High school romance]
Bad boy x bad girl
Stella Max is a bad girl. She doesn't have hope anymore after her mom left her, commiting suicide.
Michael Henson is a bad boy. He's father is busy, rich, famous attorney and he wants Michael to become one. B...
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I can't believe what has just happened. I feel pain in my body. Like Michael had pushed me and hit me hard while I was laying on the ground. And he did that, just not literally, yet mentally and it hurts even more.
I couldn't help him. I can't fight against his demons. They always win and looks like they are going to win this time, as well. I wish I helped him. I wish he let me as I let him in. But no, he had to push me and allow the entrance for his demons, not me.
He said that I'm not his light. If he doesn't believe that I'm his light, then what the fuck am I doing here? Why am I trying? Why am I trying to help him, to help my light? He is my light. And I want to become his. Maybe I can do it. Maybe I just have to push his limits, the way he pushed mine, not letting his demons break him. Yes, I'm going to stick with him, no matter what. I'll leave him alone for now, because I know how it feels what you need to be alone, to cry alone without anyone next to you, to see your pain, to see you in a miserable state, embarrassed. But I'll come back tomorrow to prove to him that I'm not going to leave him, just the way he promised that he wouldn't leave me.
I found the light, something for what I've been searching for since my mother's death. And I'm not going to let it turn off, without the fight, leaving me in the darkness all over again.
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I'm coming, mom. I'll be there soon, don't worry, you're not going to be alone for too long.
Do I feel desperate? Yes. I'm feeling a lot of things right now and all I want to do is to stop them. But I guess that is what happens to people when they are about to leave this planet and before they close their eyes for the last time they have to feel all this shit that is coursing through me at the moment. But like I said I didn't need emotions. They're just a burden on my faint back which can't hold any more load.
I take off my shirt and throw it on the floor. I wanted to leave this world by overdosing with alcohol, but there wasn't much and since I drank it all last night, I don't really have an option.
I sigh, before I lay in the cold bath, squeezing the razor in my hand. This scene gives me deja vu vibes. Then my mind remembers why. Stella told me that her mother did the same thing. Used the same way to vanish from this world. That must mean that it is going to work. It's going to send me to my mom's arms and a warm hug, filled with her beautiful scent.
