A Touch of Sorrow [Dazai x OC x Chuuya]

Triginta Novem

A/N: Andddd this song is Chuuya and Rei's. Always forever~ and yet not together~. Also, this is somewhat a short chapter compare to other ones, but I think I'll have another chapter coming up pretty soon so please look forward to it eek~

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1 new voice mail.

Nakahara Chuuya, with a bottle of Bordeaux in one hand and his hat in the other, glanced over his phone as it lit up in the dark room.

25 missed calls.

36 unread messages.

17 new voice mails.

All from the same number.

He didn't understand why he was so mad at her, he thought it was because she didn't tell him about her leaving. Or maybe it was because he knew he couldn't handle it when she left. But to think about it in any way, he still didn't understand this feeling twisting his heart. It wasn't just anger, it was also sorrow, it was pain, it was also regrets. It was everything he didn't understand combined into a mess and he had no power to untangle it.

The feeling was quite similar to those times in the past, when he was betrayed. When the Sheep betrayed him, when Dazai betrayed him. This time as well, though it hadn't happened yet, he felt it too like she had betrayed him. After giving him too much bliss and hope, he couldn't manage when she took it all away.

The bottle of wine slipped from his grip and fell, yet was saved in a split second by the scarlet glow catching it just in time. A few drops managed to escape, staining the white carpet underneath. Like their relationship that he ruined in a second of anger.

She didn't betray him.

Chuuya placed the bottle back on the table and took the phone in his hands. He opened the messages, then the voice mails, reading and listening to each and every single one of them.

She still cared.

[Chuuya-kun where are you? Please tell me where you are. Please...]

[Chuuya-kun can we talk? I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my intentions. I was going to when it's all over.]

[Chuuya please come back. I just wanna talk to you.]

[Chuuya-kun, I've made some of your favorite dishes! Come home for dinner.]

...

[I miss you, please come home.]

He might have just overreacted.

"Chuuya-kun... please come back, I will explain everything to you. Please call me back."

"I bought some Rosé champagne, we can have it with dinner. I'll wait for you Chuuya-kun."

"I really miss you Chuuya-kun. Well that's not something unusual though ahaha..."

He was scared, he was scared of the worst outcome. He was scared that he would have to face loneliness again. 

"Hey Chuuya-kun. Um... it's the day of the mission, I'm... I'm just calling to let you know that. I left some food on the table, you can heat it up for dinner...if you come back. Call me when you get this."

"I love you..."

...

"I love you..."

He loved her, that was the clearest explanation he had for this mess in his head. He loved her, that was why all of these negative feelings were present. He loved her, that was why he was jealous. He loved her, that was why he felt betrayed.