Non Verbal

27

Hi my words are a little jumbled so sorry about the quality of this chapter- i hope you enjoyyy

Rowan's POV.

"Thank you for dinner," India says gently, her voice soft as she rests her head down on her hand. We were both still sat at her dining room table, we have been done eating for a little bit.

The evening had been calm, chilled. We didn't really talk about anything serious, we just had some music on as I cooked and she watched me from the other side. I was pretty comfortable in her kitchen, so I don't need any direction.

I was tired. I didn't really sleep much last night, but I was trying to be actively present for her.

She had dressed up. She looked beautiful, she did. Her eyes hopeful.

Hopeful.

Yeah, that's how I can explain how she is acting. Hopeful. Full of hope for what this evening means for us.

I don't know what it means for us.

But I am happy here, with her. I always used to like being around her because it would suppress the OCD, I would have to try and act so normal, and it would give me a break from it for a while.

Or well it helped me hide it for a while anyway.

"I am so full." She smiles. "I don't think I have room for dessert Rowan."

I shrug, smiling back tiredly. "No drama, it's there if you want it."

"You wanna go and chill?"

I nod a little. "Give me ten minutes to clear up-"

She shakes her head and pulls her hair round to the front. She has it up, or she did, she slowly starts to pull her hair out, the colour deep and dark as it sprawls down her back and her shoulders. "I'll tidy up tomorrow morning before my parents come back."

"They're staying out?"

"Mhm." She says, her eyes on mine. "So you can stay if you like."

I nod, knowing that even though I don't really like staying, today I don't feel like it would be a bad night. I am tired, my brain fatigued and pretty relaxed so I would definitely be able to sleep.

Her hands lift to her head, she has a lot of hair, so it always hurts her to keep it up for long. I watch as her fingers massage through her scalp and I just stand up and start to clear our table.

"I said leave it, honestly It's fine."

"I can't leave it." I say openly, but lazily not really bothering to explain. It just makes me feel better if it's clean.

I don't have that type of OCD, the cleanliness one, I swear. But sometimes I get flare ups, of random different symptoms.

I just feel like making sure it's all clean before we relax.

I am also not that blind, I know her eyes are following me, wanting me to show her affection.

For me, being here with her is showing her affection. Spending time with her. India doesn't get that really, she wants words, touches, she wants to be told that I care.

So I am biding time to gather the courage to speak the nice words she wants.

I never lie. It's not like I don't mean it when I call her beautiful. She is.

It is just that I am not an overly affectionate person, I guess.

I walk behind her, leaning down to grab her plate and she tilts her head up to look at me, she smiles and my eyes focus on her smile, how gentle, hesitant, it is. So I lean down to kiss her. Just once, just lightly on her lips, I pull away when I feel her smile and I turn to bring the rest of the stuff over to the kitchen.