Non Verbal

66

Happy reading.

Lottie's POV.

As soon as I got in I regretted coming home.

I mean I didn't have much of a choice. But I could hear November's and mum's laughter from the front room. I could hear August groaning in complaint at them, Emersyn trying to stifle her laugh as she reassured him.

I doubt they even noticed the door go. I doubt they even knew I was here.

I leant back against the door and I stared through the house to the kitchen and I just felt anger.

I am so angry at him.

I am so fucking angry.

I mean I am not.

Not really.

I start tearing up again at the fact I know I am not at all angry. Just freaking sad and I shake my head.

Stop this Lottie.

It's a boy.

It's not just a boy it's Rowan.

He might not even mean it. He might just be trying to push me away.

He broke up with me. I am pretty sure he knew what he was doing.

I push myself up from the door and I hear my mum call. "Hey? Jackson?"

I close my eyes in frustration as everyone falls silent from the front room. They had heard me.

"It's me mum." I call back and the silence continues and I know what they would have just done, they all would have exchanged looks at my voice. It was stupidly thick and emotional, just like it had been in the car with him.

"Come through honey." Mum says and I just exhale painfully and I don't have the capacity to think of an excuse or even say no so I just do. I go through to the front room and lean against the living room door.

I know that my face is most likely blotchy with tears. I couldn't stop them in the car as I stared out the window in my quiet anger. I was so fucking upset and he just-

He didn't even flinch when I begged him.

How fucking embarrassing.

Mum is sitting on the large couch on her own, November and Emersyn are on the other one and August is sitting on the floor by the TV I think trying to fix something.

They all look up to me and no one says a word when as soon as I look at mum my eyes start tearing up again.

I never went to her for the Nathan stuff. It was too- personal in a way.

They know Roe. They know the real Roe. They know how happy I was.

She deflates and gives me a sympathetic smile, lifting her arm to offer a hug and I nod tearfully and walk over to her, sitting down beside her on the couch and then I lift my legs up under me and I lean into her side.

Everyone watches as I cover my face and cry. Mum just wraps an arm around me and rubs my arm.

"Oh sweetheart." She whispers.

I guess I should be embarrassed but I feel like I needed this cry so I don't even care.

I don't care at all and it doesn't seem like anyone else really cares that I am just here crying into mum because pretty soon mum's the only one paying attention to me. She continues to rub my arm and soothe my head as August and Em carry on talking. Nova chipping in every now and again.

"You can't give them my room." Emersyn says appalled. "It has all my things in it."

"We're not." November laughs. "I just mean- you're getting your own house soon aren't you? Like you can take all those things and your dad and I could try and have that room as a spare-"