Non Verbal

77

hiiii<3 guess what Zoe and v COME TO ENGLAND IN LESS THAN 2 DAYS

hehehe happy reads.

Also if u had to choose one... which is the best story?

Rowan's POV

When I woke up again, I clung to it. Forcing my eyes to stay open despite their heaviness. The feeling of being awake wasn't as painful this time and one of the reasons for this was that the room was much darker than it had been the other times I had attempted to wake up. Last time I woke up mum was here, meaning that I hadn't died. Previously I hadn't been too sure due to how confusing everything had been.

This time when I woke up, the room was basked in a warmer light, the window open and the sun casting a golden light into the room. At first it seemed like I was alone, everyone gone. But as I let myself feel relief over the disappearance of the blinding white light of the hospital room, I also saw probably one of the other reasons as to why everything felt less intense and painful to wake up to.

God I can't even explain how good it was to look across the room and see her here, safe and sound.

Lottie was curled up on the chair next to my bed. Her hands folded softly under her cheek, her knees high up and tucked against her chest. She looked so small. Asleep across from me.

I look across the room, my head not as painful to turn this time. I could see the small crusty clock that hung above the door, and I read that it was almost eight in the evening. When I woke up before there hadn't been anything in my room. This time, on the side where belongings should have gone, was my hanging plant from my room at home and my journal. My journal which I hadn't touched in over a month.

Maybe I should have.

Maybe I really should have tried to be better than this.

Pain was not a positive distraction.

Gem would be proud of me for stating this.

I doubt she'd be very proud if she knew what happened to get me in this position.

I try to sit up, but the pressure in my chest makes it difficult to move, to breathe. I let myself pause, take in some air and then I try again, this time being slightly more successful but finding it difficult as I couldn't put any pressure on my left arm.

"Rowan let's get you sat up." A voice shocks me as I was so focused on trying to sit up I didn't realise when a nurse walked in.

I didn't say anything but he came in and immediately started to adjust the bed so the back was supporting me to sit up. "How's your pain?"

I want to speak.

I don't remember if there is a reason why I am not speaking.

I hate that I have to think that. I hate that I can't just talk.

Just talk then.

I part my lips, ready to talk and I hear Lottie move, or I feel her move, I don't know. When she wakes up the room changes, it gets in some ways lighter, her eyes open looking at me. But in other ways the room looks darker. The way she was looking at me was heavy.

"How is your pain?" The nurse asks again.

"Sorry." I say, pulling my eyes away from Lottie and looking at him. "It's-"

It's not great.

The pressure on my chest is harsh. My arm aches, the cast feeling too tight almost. I am uncomfortable. But my headache is not as awful as it had been every other time I woke up before. But if I say it's bad, they're give me more medication and I'll fall asleep again.