Non Verbal

74

Hi, comment and vote <3

Lottie's POV

You never know when you might be seeing someone for the last time.

I never thought that laying my head on Rowan's shoulder and closing my eyes could possibly be one of the worst mistakes I will make in my life.

How, if we do not find him, I do not know what I will do. I never thought about how some losses can rearrange your world.

It has been three days since anyone heard anything from Rowan Carter.

Three whole fucking days.

72 hours.

4320 minutes.

I can google the seconds; I am not doing anything else right now other than staring down at my phone anyway.

"Lots." Fran says softly. "Do you remember him ever mentioning anywhere else he might go?"

I glance up, not having noticed she had gotten back from the bathroom.

I shake my head apologetically. I don't know. I have no idea. All the information I thought I knew about Rowan had just fallen out of my head. I don't know him any better than these people.

He doesn't tend to offer much of himself to people.

Fran, Sutton and I sat in a diner of the motorway between here and Fallbouragh town. We have been just driving to different towns and putting up missing person posters. It's literally all they said we can do at the moment.

Monica reported Rowan missing an hour after we all got the texts from him.

The police say that his messages indicate that they might be looking for a body, instead of a stowaway teen.

They didn't know I heard them say that. The two young guys on the force probably would get in trouble if I reported that they said that in front of me. I think they thought I wasn't in hearing range because no other police officer has said that to any of us.

They have all said that it's fine, he's probably just got himself in a bit of a state and needed some space.

"Hey, drink." Fran offers softly, both of us pale, both of us sharing a big mug of coffee.

Sutton was at the counter, looking for food to settle Fran's stomach.

I take a sip of the coffee but don't really feel like being caffeinated. "Here." I say pushing it back to her.

"Yeah no, I can't stomach it."

I nod and pull my legs up from under the table so that my arms could wrap around my knees, and I rest my head down on them.

I hadn't slept much. I slept at Sutton's with Fran the second night. None of us slept the first.

It is so unlike him to run off. Ok, I guess it is not.

This is actually not totally out of the blue for Rowan. But it's- it is the first time this has happened when I love him. Does that make sense?

I am here filled with dread that feels like it is turning my blood to lead and Sutton and Fran seem to just be ok. Or well at least not terrified. Fran is sick, she is. I remember Rowan was worried about that.

Sutton and Fran have fallen back into contact as if they never left each other's side. I don't mean they're acting back together, at all, they seem very civil. But it's funny how easily they slip back into seeing and talking and leaning on each other.

But I suppose that happens when you have loved someone for how long they have loved each other.

Rowan said it was from like the very beginning of high school I think. Or middle. I am not sure.