Non Verbal

83

HI:))))

Lottie's POV

"How's Blaise?" I ask after a sip of my coffee.

Scarlett and I had sat here for a little under an hour already, just catching each other up. Blaise and Scarlett are not together anymore. But they speak.

We talked about Rowan.

She was sympathetic to a normal extent, her eyebrows drawing together in parts where things made no sense to her. I didn't bother to elaborate.

"He is..." She thinks for a moment. "He's sort of ok I think. It's summer now so he doesn't have to think about school so he can just chill."

"What about college?"

She shrugs. "He has options, but I don't know what he's going to do. I don't want to stress him out, so I don't ask."

I get her. I didn't ever really ask Rowan what he planned on doing when we talked about this September. I know he's staying here. But I don't know what that really means.

I haven't spoken to Rowan since they all left the beach house yesterday and I was still utterly in my feelings about everything. I had tried to arrange the coffee meeting for that afternoon but Scarlett was out of town, so we arranged it for today instead.

So I stayed at the beach house on my own and I stewed.

I stewed at my own behaviour really. I couldn't really stop thinking about the way I acted and the way if I wasn't so deep in my feelings for him that I wouldn't have gotten so angry, and I most definitely wouldn't have told him to go. But also, I am deep in this and that means if he truly doesn't want to be with me then we need some space again.

We need space because I want to be with him, and he obviously still has feelings for me and I don't think being around each other is helping at all.

But still, annoyingly, I like being around him.

I mean obviously I do. I didn't want us to break up.

"Lots?" Scarlett asks quietly, then she laughs when I shake myself out of my thoughts. "You ok?"

"Yes." I say. "Sorry what were you saying?"

"Nothing. Just about Blaise."

"Is he sober still?" I ask, I don't really know why I care. I just sort of do.

She nods. "I think so. I am not sure. We talk everyday but he is quiet about it all and it's always just sort of a catch up for him. He wants to know what I have been up to and stuff. He doesn't want to talk to me about the heavier stuff."

"He said that he was worried you wouldn't feel the same way about him."

Scarlett frowns. "Yeah I know. And honestly I guess all of this really has changed like my perception-"

I lower my eyes, unimpressed with that but not surprised.

"No I mean I understand now that when he is saying he doesn't want to be around me and that he doesn't want to be with me it's not actually about me or us it is fully about him and what he needs. So it's changed the way I looked at that and like obviously I have stopped fighting him on that-"

"Oh." I say softly.

"I think he sort of sees it like I don't want to be with him anymore. But er... It's literally just he's been trying to break up with me ever since it happened and he couldn't tell me why. Now I know why I get it."

I nod.

"What about er... Reagan? I think that was his name."

She smiles a little and my eyebrows raise.