A Heart Break In Time

Zero. Zip. Nada. No Trust. Liar.

"Let me see what you got." I grabbed some of the hangers from his lap. I saw he grabbed three pairs of jeans, two black, one blue pair. "Very practical." I nodded. Then he picked an arrangement of t shirts. I nodded going through them until I saw a band I recognized. "Oh, I love them!"

"Really?"

"Yes, one of the first CDs I ever owned. Shortly before CDs became completely irrelevant."

Eva poked her head back out of the dressing room. "Do the Avengers have their own Spotify family account?"

"We do, and you're not an avenger!" Sam yelled back from the other room.

"Well that's just rude!" Eva groaned back before disappearing.

Kai and I laughed and I caught myself thinking how nice his laugh his. He interrupted my thoughts. "So you were out looking for your friend before we came. You found her?"

"I did. Hopefully she'll be home soon. She needed... time."

"She got blipped?" Kai asked and I nodded. "That must've been hard. You didn't?"

I sighed. "No, but a lot of people I love did. I can't imagine how it felt."

"Angel and Eva both did."

"So did Sam," I gestured to the room he was walking out of. "And Bucky."

Kai nodded. "He and Steve are the two super soldiers, right?"

"Yes."

"I understand Sam's comment now." Kai stated blankly.

"Nothing is going on between me and Bucky. Or Steve. Or me and anyone." I blurted out and realized maybe I said too much, was it necessary to point out? It wasn't really Kai's business who I am or am not dating. Unless I was interested in him. My eyes widened at the thought and I felt my body tense up. Angel must've heard it because she chose right then to walk up to me.

"Okay, I think we're all good."

"Great!" I jumped up with maybe a bit too much enthusiasm. "Let's pay and hit the next one."

One by one everyone piled their things on the counter and the woman at the checkout seemed shocked by it, then she looked up and recognized Sam and her face lit up. He noticed and smiled at her before pressing his finger against his lips and shushing her. She nodded and started ringing us up. I ignored the total, knowing the amount would make me uncomfortable. Never having my own money made me overly aware of the value of it. It was a debate Tony and I would have all the time, and now it looks like he won.

I gave everyone their own bags as we walked out of the store. "Is everyone okay on clothes or do you wanna hit another store?"

"I could use more running clothes." Sam answered.

"I don't have any work out clothes, for training or anything." Angel added.

I nodded. "There's an activewear store a bit further up. We'll stop there."

Angel walked next to me and whispered. "You like him."

Shut up. I thought.

"You opened your mind to me, remember?" She whispered back with a smirk.

Making me regret that. I sighed. I don't know how I feel. But I do know it's a bad idea.

"You deserve to be happy. You both do."

Both?

Angel smiled. "He's having the exact same thoughts as you." She stated casually before slowing down to walk with the rest of the group. I walked into the next store first, walking right back to the chairs by the dressing room and sitting down, trying to process my thoughts alone.

Did I have feelings for Kai? This felt totally different than how I felt for Steve. But it makes sense, Steve and I weren't meant to be. And then there was Bucky. He had become such a big part of my life and I cared for him so deeply, I knew I had genuine feelings for him. But Bucky is so close to Steve, that could only get complicated.

Then again, I'm supposed to be training Kai. That makes me his superior. Is this even appropriate? This feels borderline like taking advantage of him. He's an adult, he's more than capable of taking care of himself, but he's emotionally vulnerable. And so am I. I groaned. If only Steve let me put the stones back. None of this would be happening. A whole new reason to be annoyed with him, putting me in this complicated situation.

Time passed as I still just repeated my cycle of Kai, Bucky, and goddammit Steve. Sam was the one to approach me this time. "We're good to go." I nodded and stood up, avoiding both Angel and Kai's eyes. We checked out quietly. When we left the store, Eva was the one to break the silence. Big surprise there.

"Ya know, I feel a lot like the fifth wheel here. This sucks."

"There's no wheels." I stated firmly. As soon as I said it, I realized it came our harsher than I meant it. "We're supposed to be a team. Not partners." I added. It didn't help any. I sighed and saw a HomeGoods store. "Oh, there. Last store, then home."

We walked in and I wandered looking for something for Wanda. I made my way to the blankets and grabbed one of the weighted blankets. I've heard how much they help with anxiety and thought she could use that. I went with red, and grabbed a black fuzzy blanket to go with it. I almost did grab one for me but then I thought about it again and decided to get myself something today. I grabbed the purple fuzzy blanket and rubbed it on my face. I smiled to myself as I turned around and saw Kai looking at me, smiling. I walked towards him and held the blanket out to his face. "Feel it." He leaned forward the close the gap, rubbing the blanket on his face.

"That is nice. Grab me one?" He smiled.

"Sure thing, color?"

"Purple. We can match."

I grabbed the purple blanket and held it out to him, he grabbed it with his free arm, the other had a pillow and sheet sets in it. "You shop fast. Kai responded with a shrug. "We can go sit on the chairs over there while we wait." I walked over and he sat on the chair to the left so I grabbed the right one, placing our stuff on the ground.

"I make you nervous." Kai stated, it wasn't a question.

"Yes."

Kai nodded. "Is it the powers?"

"No, no. Of course not." It hurt me that he would think that. For the first time, I wished for Angel's powers. I wanted to see what he was thinking now.

Kai accepted that answer but still didn't look at my face. Keeping his eyes on the floor he continued. "My past?"

I couldn't take this anymore, I reached out and touched his arm. "It's completely nothing about you. You make me nervous because of..." I took a deep inhale trying to figure out how to phrase it. "Because of how you make me feel."

I felt his body tense up and move so he was facing me in the chair. "How I make you feel?" I couldn't answer, I just nodded. "Okay." He replied. I kept expecting him to say more, but he didn't. Shortly after, the rest of our group walked up with all their things in a cart.

"Can we get food before we go home? I'm starving." Eva asked, leaning against the cart.

"Yeah, sure." I smiled at her, putting mine and Kai's things in the cart before taking it and walking towards checkout.