A Heart Break In Time

Who Wants Mayo On A Hotdog?

Dr. Sloan nodded. "Yes, Wanda and James. But after the falling out... You went with Steve and James to Wakanda. Without Wanda."

"Wanda wanted to keep continuing to see Vision, Steve kept in contact with her and she and I talked regularly. And plus at that point, Natasha was with us and I was seeing Tony and his family weekly. I wasn't against my family anymore."

Dr. Sloan looked at Bucky. "Do you have any thoughts about that you'd like to express?"

Bucky looked at the ground. "Kind of." He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I'm guessing that was a coping method he learned. "You didn't have to stay with me. I was surprised you did. Steve came to visit, you could've done that. You only went to see Tony when I said you should. I think..." He took another deep breath and let it out again. "I think you care about me more than you realize, because this feels differently than anything else you've felt before."

Dr. Sloan nodded, encouraging him. "And why do you think that is, James?"

Another deep breath in, and then he let it out. "I think you love me, Talia. I think you've always loved me, and I've always loved you. And neither of us know how to handle it because we've never felt love before." Bucky practically spit out, then looked shocked that he said it. I looked over to Dr. Sloan and her face screamed pride, I can only assume she's been working towards this realization for a while. It made me overwhelming curious about their past sessions, how often has he spoken about me? How deep did this go?

Flashback

I woke up in the morning and followed my usual routine: wake up, get dressed, coffee, and talk to frozen Bucky. I sat down in the chair I left beside him as always, but before I went to talk, Shuri walked up to us.

"We have no proof he can hear you when you speak, you know."

I sighed. "We have no proof he can't, either." I joked. "I just... it feels wrong, leaving him alone, you know? After everything we went through to get him back. Now he's just here, in ice. Again."

"I surely hope you are not trying to rush me." Shuri joked.

"Oh, of course not princess." I stood, giving her a mock curtsy.

Shuri laughed, and pushed me back against the chair. "We're getting closer, you know. Hopefully it should not be too much longer."

"Hopefully." I looked back to where Bucky was. It made me sad to think about all the time he had been in this same position before. All alone. I hated it.

"I will leave you to your routine. But first. Remember this time, it is different.  He is safe here. He is not alone. And he has you." Shuri gave a final smile before walking out, leaving me and Bucky alone with my thoughts.

I leaned towards the metal cryo. "She's right, you know. You have me. Steve and I will make sure you're never alone again. You're safe with us. I promise, Buck." I really hoped he could hear me.

*

Dr. Sloan looked at me, smiling. She didn't speak right away, I figured she was hoping I would speak first but I couldn't. My tongue might as well have been cut out, I couldn't get my brain to form words. Bucky? He loved me? How? When? Why? Nothing was processing in my brain properly and I felt stuck. Stuck in my head. Stuck in this room. Stuck on this couch. Stuck.

"Talia? Do you have anything to say about James's statement?" I shook my head.

Bucky squeezed my arm. "Doll? You okay?" I shook my head again and he quickly wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push, if I'm wrong... I'm just sorry. I thought-"

I cut him off by kissing him, hard. I wanted to make sure he stopped talking and still express what I couldn't make my mouth say. I pulled away and kissed him again, this time gently. He pulled back and looked at me confused, but then smiled. I copied his breathing and forced myself to speak. "I'm not saying you're wrong, Buck. I'm just... I'm not sure. But I know I have feelings for you, I don't want to hide them anymore."

He leaned forward and kissed me again, just barely brushing his lips against mine. "Then we won't."

"And Kai?" I felt uncomfortable mentioning him but not doing so felt worse to me.

Bucky shrugged. "If you have feelings you want to figure out with him... That's okay."

"Yeah? You sure you don't need Steve's permission now?" I joked.

Bucky frowned at me. "I just felt like I should talk to him first, it wasn't really about his permission."

I rolled my eyes. "I still don't see why it matters, Steve doesn't care about what I do or who I do it with anymore."

"He does."

"What?" I turned to Bucky confused.

Bucky nodded. "He cares. He doesn't like it. He told me he doesn't like it. And I told him to get over it, he has Peggy. And how he handled it and treated you... I told him to get it together and deal with it. That's when he went to talk to you."

"He tried to talk to me. I didn't let him."

Bucky chuckled. "Yeah, I warned him about that too." Bucky squeezed my hand, but my brain was focused on why the fuck would Steve care? Every time things started to make sense to me, they blurred back up again.

"James, our session is now over. You're free to go. However, Talia. I do have some free time after, if you'd like to stay and talk some more." Dr. Sloan smiled at me.

Bucky stood up from next to me and waited, looking to see what I'd do. I smiled up at him but leaned back on the couch. "I'll stay." Bucky smiled back before nodding and walking out of the room.