A Heart Break In Time

Anyone See An Ugly, Brown Van Up There?

After I left the training room, FRIDAY let me know that the pizza and snacks had arrived. I ran down to meet the delivery person, being sure to leave a big tip. I saw Bucky on the way and he came to help me with carrying everything in. We spread everything out on the table in the theater room.

"FRIDAY, let everyone know we're about to begin!" I looked around. "Buck, where's my blanket?"

"Oh. I left it in on the couch. I'll go grab it."

He started to walk out but I stopped him. "No, that's okay. I got it. Need anything?" He shook his head and I walked back out and grabbed it, grabbing a stack of cups for the soda that we got with the food.

Flashback

I stood by the platform for what was the longest minute of my life. What if they didn't come back? I felt the anxiety start to overwhelm me when flashes of light brought my family back. I ran towards them and Bruce was the first to speak. "Did we get them all?"

I hugged Steve and Rhodey looked at me shocked. "You telling me this'll actually work?"

I turned to everyone else and realized something was wrong. "Wait, Clint. Where's Nat?" He didn't answer and that was enough of an answer. My heart broke as I lost control of my body, falling to the ground and crying. Why didn't I go? Who the hell cares about informing the government, I should've gone with her. It should've been me. She's dead because of me. Bruce sat on the ground with me. My brain could no longer focus conscious thoughts. Just repeated over and over. I should've been the one to go. It should've been me. She's dead because of me.

The team sat outside to mourn her, Steve had to carry me out. I couldn't make my body walk. Everyone was silent as I cried into Bruce's chest. It should've been me.

Tony broke the silence. "Do we know if she had family?"

"Yeah." Steve answered. "Us." Clint and I made eye contact but we didn't speak up.

Thor looked at us all confused. "What?"

"I just asked him a question–"

Thor cut Tony off. "Yeah, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn't that right?" He started shouting. "So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together."

She's dead because of me.

Clint spoke for the first time since he'd gotten back. "We can't get her back."

"What?"

Clint clenched his fist. "It can't be undone. It can't."

Thor gave a dry, humorless laugh. "I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And 'can't' seems very definitive don't you think?"

"Yeah, look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here. But she still isn't here, is she?"

"No, that's my point–"

Clint stepped towards Thor, obviously pissed now. "It can't be undone. Or that's at least what the red floating guy had to say. Maybe you wanna go talk to him, okay?" He voice turned to a yell. "GO GRAB YOUR HAMMER, AND YOU GO FLY AND TALK TO HIM!" His anger quickly fell as he looked like he was going to burst into tears at any second. "It was supposed to be me. She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it."

Before I could interject, Bruce moved away from me and picked up the bench and tossed it into the lake. "She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to."

I took a deep breath. "We will."

She's dead because of me.

*

When I came back, it was just Bucky and Kai. I suddenly felt awkward, wrapping my blanket tighter around me. "Well. Isn't it my two favorite men." I tried to joke but instantly regretted it.

Bucky and Kai both responded with a chuckle but Kai spoke. "No need to feel awkward, sugar. We're cool. We talked." He patted the open spot between them.

"I was gone for two seconds." I sat down. "How did you have time to talk?"

"Short conversation, doll. I like you. You like me. He likes you. You like him." Bucky shrugged.

I moved my blanket so it was just on my lap. "Oh, well that's good then. Glad we're all on the same page." Bucky's right arm went around me at the same moment Kai moved my legs so they were on him. I looked confused, looking back and forth between the two.

Bucky let out a small laugh. "See, Kai? Told you. She stresses too much."

Kai nodded. "Yeah, I can see that."

Both men relaxed next to me and made small talk as we waited for the rest of the group. No one said anything about the three of us, snuggled under a blanket together. But we definitely got some looks. I mostly ignored them, but something about how Steve looked at us didn't sit right with me. Almost like he was jealous? Angry? It was an expression I've never seen. Even when everyone was discussing the movie, he stayed quiet. When it ended, everyone slowly left. Kai and Bucky hesitated, hovering around me.

"It's fine, I'll clean up. This was my doing. I'll see you both in the morning for training." I kissed both of their cheeks and they walked out together. I don't know if them getting along was something I'd really get used to. I picked up the empty chip wrappers, crumbling them and putting them in a larger one as a make shift trash bag.

Suddenly I felt a hand grab mine. I looked up to see Steve. "I got it, it's fine."

"No, it's fine. This was my idea. Go home, get some rest." I pulled away from him.

He didn't move, just stood beside me with a straight face. "Talia, can you just listen for once? I got it. Go to bed."

I was confused, and I wanted to ask him a million questions, starting with what the hell his attitude was but decided against it. Steve and whatever crawled up his ass and died were no longer my concern, so I wouldn't even ask.

Before I left the room I turned to him, "I'm sorry Peggy wasn't feeling well enough to join us."

Steve turned and looked at me annoyed. "What are you talking about?"

"Peggy. She must not feel well, that's why she couldn't make it, I'm assuming."

Steve nodded and went back to cleaning. "Yeah. You're right."

I left without another word.